English Language

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by AkMike, Jan 18, 2014.

  1. AkMike

    AkMike AH Fanatic

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    Here's some that can be confusing for those whose English is a second language...

    Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, the Guinea Pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

    Why is it that writer's write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

    If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, two geese. So why not one Moose, two Meese? Is cheese he plural of choose? One mouse, two mice; one louse, two lice, one house two hice?

    If teachers once taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?


    Even tougher, why do people recite at a play but play at a recital? Why do we "ship" by truck or car, and send "cargo" by ship? Why do we have noses than run, and feet that smell, park on driveways and drive on parkways?

    How can a fat chance and a slim chance be the same while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as heck on one day and cold as heck on another?

    When a house burns up it burns down? You fill in a form by filling it out? You get in and out of a car but on and off a bus?

    When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible?
    And why, when I wind up my watch I start it, but when I wind up this post, I end it?

    Pity the poor immigrant. How can he learn a language which in itself doesn't know if it coming or going??
  2. Wheels

    Wheels GOLD SUPPORTER AH Elite

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    Good stuff Mike.

    English has got to be a tough language to learn as a second language.

    A friend from Tanzania recently asked me what "you dirty rat" meant. He had been called that by an American and thought he was being criticized.
  3. AkMike

    AkMike AH Fanatic

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    My wife didn't speak too much English 10 years ago and she still get baffled with strange phrases like these. Toss in an Ozzie accent or and Irish Brouge and it gets bad quickly!
  4. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    oi ozzies don't have an accent , mate ha ha ha
    the only place ive had some one , that thought my accent was hard to under stand was in the café at the airport in Cranbrook ,b.c Canada
    reading your first post made me smile ,we have just put on 2 phillipeno crew while a couple of my boys have gone on a surfing safari, and they cant understand the way we explain things half the time .
    its a laugh watching them try and work it out .bloody hell they can work .
    all last week while l was down the city with my wife .they were running around painting everything that could be painted , in tempretures between 39 and 44 degrees c.
    fantastic effort they put in . l was surprised last night when we got home and l went down to the boat .
  5. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    :rofl: bluey half the time I have to click google tranlate just to figure out what your saying. what do you mean ozzies don't have an accent google didn't have an anwser for that. :beer:
  6. AkMike

    AkMike AH Fanatic

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    Does anyone that's here happen to know what a chackleberry is!
    Bluey and others keep quite for a bit! We'll see if anyone else knows.
  7. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    bloody hell Alaskan ,you gotta spell it properly .... cackleberry :hmmm:
  8. AkMike

    AkMike AH Fanatic

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    Like I have some growing in the back yard? Hmmm
  9. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    I checked on Google Translate and I said "bluey said" cackleberry I got an email back and they said " what the hell is a bluey"? :rofl:
  10. AkMike

    AkMike AH Fanatic

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    I Bing'd "bluey" and got this! ;)

    Attached Files:

  11. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    definitely resembles my little brother
  12. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    Cool we are related!!!
  13. AkMike

    AkMike AH Fanatic

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    Your brother? Are you sure??
    I'll Bing you again..
  14. AkMike

    AkMike AH Fanatic

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    Hmmm Must be a solar flare interrupting the flow of the internet.!

    Now it's showing this image of bluey. They're both early pics but the common demoninator is that he's always hungry!

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  15. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    jeez ,mike
    are you Justin biebers neighbour or something ,mate
    this is getting a bit personal ,over a couple of eggs, bloke :laughing:
  16. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    it would be a privilege to be related to you mate
  17. Diamondhitch

    Diamondhitch AH Legend

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    I pictured him with less hair and bigger ears. LOL
  18. timbear

    timbear AH Enthusiast

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    Hi, bluey, if you want to surprise them, try "Wii anah" (phonetic, no guarantee for spelling!). My builder learned it from Phillipino colleagues. It means: "Time to go home yet?"
  19. AkMike

    AkMike AH Fanatic

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    Nah the no hair and big ears would be me! :eek:

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