South Carolina Troopers

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by Grady, Feb 21, 2013.

  1. Grady

    Grady AH Veteran

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    Got this from another fourm and thought you might enjoy it.

    These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos.

    1. You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.
    2. Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they are new. They will stretch after you wear them a while.
    3. If you take your hands off the car, I will make your birth certificate a worthless document.
    4. If you run, you will only go to jail tired.
    5. Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that will be chasing you. (LOVE IT)
    6. You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh? 

    7. Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?
    8. Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I am warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket. 

    9. The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog? 

    10. Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop. 

    11. Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven. 

    12. In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC. (National Crime Information Center )
    13. Just how big were those two beers you say you had?
    14. No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we are allowed to write as many tickets as we can. 

    15. I am glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail. 


    
AND THE WINNER IS?

    16. You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't... Sign here.
     
  2. Buff-Buster

    Buff-Buster GOLD SUPPORTER AH Elite

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    Love the last one......:clap:
     
  3. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    3,5 and 16 I'm still flipping quarters trying to figure out which is best. :laughing:
     
  4. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    at least the boys in blue sound like they have got a sense of humour in south caralina
    the cracks about shooting ya wouldnt go down to well down here but
     
  5. timbear

    timbear AH Enthusiast

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    Great!:thumb: I have to remember #3, it can be applied to so many situations...:letsparty:
     
  6. Heym 88

    Heym 88 GOLD SUPPORTER AH Enthusiast

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    I live in SC...and our troopers do have a sense of humor ..I guess it depends on which side your on. Our troopers are da best.
     

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