Free Hunt for One Hunter & One Observer from Lianga Safaris for 2016

[Silence]

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food in here''

 

[dobber]

Am i able to sell this hunt if i win?



figured i would add below here that my comment is the joke lol

 

[Silence]

 

[Silence]

 

[HunterMarkus]

 

[HunterMarkus]

 

[HunterMarkus]

 

[HunterMarkus]

I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

 

[HunterMarkus]

Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here''

 

[HunterMarkus]

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off. ''because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''

 

[HunterMarkus]

 

[hunting4sanity]

Do you think the following anagram is a coincidence? Neither do I.

 

[HTXHunter]

 

[HTXHunter]

 

[ArmyGrunt]

Anyone hear about Willie Nelson getting hit by a car last week?


He was out playing On The Road Again!

 

[HunterMarkus]

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. 'Where's Henry?' the others asked.
'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail,' the successful hunter replied.

'You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?' they inquired.

'A tough call,' nodded the hunter. 'But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!'

 

[HunterMarkus]

Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to load my pheasant hunting gear into the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 20 yrs replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out pheasant hunting in that crap?'

I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped hunting.

 

[HunterMarkus]

Sven and Olie are out in their turkey blind and a huge gobbler struts by. Sven raises his shotgun to blast the bird and Olie says "Don't bother, you forgot to load your gun" Sven Replies "I don't have time to load my gun, if I wait any longer the turkey will be gone".

 

[HunterMarkus]

A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She
says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and
reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20.00."

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please."

The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?"

He replies," Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."

 

[HunterMarkus]

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.