Recent content by HunterMarkus

Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to him and said, "Don't you know who I...

During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket...

A blonde goes to the doctor with burns on both of her ears and her right hand. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor. "I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear." "'What about the other ear and your...

Two brooms are getting married. Before the ceremony, the bride broom says to the groom broom, "I think I'm going to have a whisk." The groom broom says, "How can that be? We haven't even swept together!"

A gentleman sits next to a priest on an airplane. He sees the priest doing a crossword puzzle. Time passes and the priest says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know a four letter word that describes a woman and ends in 'u-n-t'?" The gentleman thinks about this and finally says, "I believe the word...

My grandma always says that she never gets any phone calls. So, for her birthday, I put one of those 'How's my driving?' bumper stickers on her car. The phone's pretty much ringing off the hook now

Two guys get pulled over while drinking and driving. The driver tells his friend, "Peel the labels off these beer bottles, and we'll each stick one on our forehead. Now, shove all of the bottles under the front seat. Just let me do all the talking." The cop walks up and shines his flashlight...

A blonde sees a flier on a bulletin board that reads, "Cruise -- Only $5." She goes to the address on the flier and hands the receptionist $5. The receptionist nods to a burly man reading a newspaper. He walks over to the blonde and knocks her unconscious. The blonde wakes up tied to a log...

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris recorded the making of the first video camera.

Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.

Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.

There once was a street called Chuck Norris, but the name was changed for public safety because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.