When Jane Met Tarzan

bluey

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When Jane Met Tarzan

When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to him and, during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had Sex ...

"Tarzan not know Sex," he replied.

Jane explained to him what Sex was.

Tarzan said, "Oh ....Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothing, and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said, pointing to her privates, "you must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loin cloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer to her, and kicked her hard in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, she managed to gasp for air, and screamed, "What did you do that for?!"

Tarzan replied, "Check for squirrel."
 

Bobpuckett

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LOL bet she kicked him back to see if he was nuts.
 

CAustin

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That is funny
 

ActionBob

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Ha HAAA. Good one bluey!

Do you get the old "Gunsmoke" re-runs over there on TV?

Festus is always walking with a limp and all bow legged and one day as they are sitting down to breakfast in the Long Branch Saloon, 'ol Doc inquires about his particularly wobbly strut in the mornings... Well Festus explains that every morning he wakes up with a sever case of "morning wood" and it is jus plain "hard" get his trousers on, not to mention the discomfort his gun belt causes, and walking across the street in that condition is just plain miserable.

Doc grunts, snorts and says "well heck Festus, you buy me breakfast and I'll tell you how to cure that. Well Festus thinks a second and figgurs that might be a fair bargain so he agrees.. They order breakfast and eat and sure as heck, Festus' condition is still persisting.. So 'ol Doc tells him" Festus, you mosey on down to the livery stable and get yourself a nice big shovel full of fresh warm horse shit and stick that thing right into the middle of it, you just give it a few minutes and your problem will be solved."

Flash ahead to the livery stable where Festus has his gun belt hung on a post and his trousers down around his boots and is scooping up a big heaping pile of steaming horse shit into his shovel when in walks Miss Kitty for her morning buggy ride......... She Yells out "Festus, what are you doing!" So Festus, standing there with a still raging hard on and a shovel full of horse shit, goes into the entire litany of his persistent problem and docs prescription for it.

Well Miss Kitty, being the kind soul she is, hikes up her skirts and lays down in a clean freshly bedded stall and spreads eagle pointing to her warm center and in a low sexy voice says "Festus, why don't you come over here and stick it into this!".... Festus wobbles closer with his pants still down around his ankles and the shovel in his hands, crooks his head sideways and says "Why miss Kitty, you want I should put the whole scoop in thar"!?
 

Nyati

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