Texas Humor

[Buff-Buster]

Texas Humor


One day, a very gentle Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in Austin.

As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin’ to jump. ("fixin" in Texas means: has the means or abilities to take action)

She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said,"Please don't jump! Think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "My mom and dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children."

He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."

She said, "Well, then you just remember the Alamo."

He replied,'What's the Alamo?''

She replied, "Well, bless your pea pickin heart! You just go ahead and jump you little Liberal Yankee Democrat Bastard. You’re holding up traffic”

 

[BRICKBURN]

This made me think of a Texan lady I know.
She was likely directly quoted to create this joke.

 

[Royal27]

This made me think of a Texan lady I know.
She was likely directly quoted to create this joke.

What joke?

 

[jeffpg]

That's awesome!

 

[Red Leg]

God willing we are closing on a "place" just outside Georgetown on Friday. We'll move the flag down there permanently in the spring. We have liked the Blue Ridge and northern Virginia, but are looking forward to getting home.

 

[jeffpg]

I tend to spend quite a bit of time out there lately.

I love me some Texas Hill Country!

 

[CAustin]

Texas is a wonderful state to live in. My son lives in Houston and loves the place. 30 years ago I lived in San Antonio for a shot time and it was great!
Game ranching is becoming big business down there and I'm seriously considering a white tail deer hunt there next year.
Some of the game ranches have imported African plains game for those hunters who can not travel......as for me I can't wait yo get back to Africa and hunt again.

 

[enysse]

LOL, Good one!

 

[tarbe]

I can just hear any number of gentle Texas ladies saying something like that!

I have only lived in Texas for 19 years, but I so thoroughly identify with the "stereotypical" conservative Texas worldview that I will always consider myself at least part Texan, no matter where I live.

God bless Texas!


Tim

 

[Royal27]

^^^

I was born in Austin actually. And no matter where I live Texas will always be home.

 

[PHOENIX PHIL]

I married a Texan and then took her out of state.....so what's so damn funny about this?

 

[Jfet]

God willing we are closing on a "place" just outside Georgetown on Friday. We'll move the flag down there permanently in the spring. We have liked the Blue Ridge and northern Virginia, but are looking forward to getting home.

It is always good to come home to TEXAS after a foreign mission trip

 

[bluey]

ha ha ha ha