Surgery - Marriage - Chocolates - Insurance

James.Grage

AH legend
Joined
Feb 8, 2010
Messages
3,590
Reaction score
720
Media
75
Articles
10
Hunting reports
Africa
8
Member of
NRA, ATA, PITA, NAHC, NAFC, DU, TU, DSC, SCI, RMEF
Hunted
USA - Canada -Tanzania, South Africa, Zimbabwe
He was in the Texas Rose last night at the bar waiting for a beer when a
butt-ugly, big old heifer (a girl) came up behind him and slapped him on the butt.

She said, “Hey sexy, how about giving me your number?”;

He looked at her and said, ”Have you got a pen?”;

She said, “ I sure do."

He said, “ Well, you better get back in it before the farmer sees you’re missing.”;

His dental surgery is on Monday.


Two women are discussing marriage, and one says, "We've been married 10 years, and every night my husband has complained about dinner. Not one night without complaining about the food."

"That's awful," the other woman says. "That must really bother you."

"No, not in the slightest," says the first one.

"You must be a saint," her friend says.

"Why should I object?" the first one says. "A lot of people don't like their own cooking."

Four-year-old, Mitch loved candy almost as much as his mom, Ann did.

He and Daddy had given her a beautiful heart-shaped box of chocolates for Valentine's Day.

A few days later, Mitch was eying it, wishing to have a piece of it. As he reached out to touch one of the big pieces, Ann said to him, "If you touch it, then you have to eat it. Do you understand"?

"Oh, yes," he said, nodding his head.

Suddenly, his little hand patted the tops of all the pieces of candy.

"Now I can eat them all!"


My seven-year-old son informed us that part of his tooth had come out. We checked and, sure enough, a piece had broken off.

Trying to lighten the moment, I asked my husband, "What do you suppose the tooth fairy gives for half a tooth?"

"Nothing," he replied, "She wants the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth."

An insurance salesman was trying to persuade a housewife that she should take out life insurance. "Suppose your husband were to die," he said, "What would you get?"

The housewife thought for a while, and then said, "Oh, a parrot, I think. Then the house wouldn't seem so quiet."
 

Forum statistics

Threads
37,716
Messages
721,363
Members
67,478
Latest member
Antwanthomb
 

 

 

Latest profile posts

flatwater bill wrote on john stroud's profile.
Leopard Legend....................Hi John.............I see that you have not visited AH in awhile. Hope all is well. I am looking for a hunt in Namibia..............would like to ask a few questions about your hunt.............all the best..............................Bill
Cervus elaphus wrote on Bob Nelson 35Whelen's profile.
Hi Bob, how's things going in Wyong?. Down your way a couple of years back but haven't been in NSW since Ebor for the fishing. just getting over some nasty storms up here in Qld, seeing the sun for the first time in a few days. I'm going to NZ in the spring and hope to clean up a few buns while there and perhaps shake the spiders out of my old .303LE (currently owned by my BIL). Cheers Brian
A couple pictures of the sable i chased for miles in Mozambique, Coutada 9!! We finally caught up to him and I had the trophy of a lifetime. Mokore Safaris, Doug Duckworth PH
sable Coutada 9.JPG
sable 2 - Coutada 9.JPG
Safari Dave wrote on egrmpty507's profile.
Did you purchase your hunt at a US SCI fundraiser?
uplander01 wrote on colorado's profile.
Heard you may have load data for the 500 Jeffery,.....any info would be appreciated. Was thinking 535gr, but already had a response that the 570gr would be a better way to go, not sure why.
 
Top