Nurses

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by AkMike, May 26, 2014.

  1. AkMike

    AkMike AH Fanatic

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2009
    Messages:
    813
    Video/Photo:
    37
    Likes Received:
    117
    Location:
    Anchorage
    Member of:
    NRA-Life ASSRA DRSS
    A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
    "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
    He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
    Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
    She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
    The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
    Are - my - test - results - back?"
     

  2. ArmyGrunt

    ArmyGrunt AH Elite

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2013
    Messages:
    1,154
    Video/Photo:
    1
    Likes Received:
    734
    Hunted:
    USA, South Africa
    I've heard this before, but still hilarious!
     

  3. bluey

    bluey AH Legend

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Messages:
    4,807
    Video/Photo:
    52
    Likes Received:
    1,905
    Location:
    australia,the next oppressed nation
    Member of:
    ssaa, aba ,bairnsdale field archers SFP
    Hunted:
    australia south africa (limpopo, north west,eastcape) canada (b.c)zambia
    next time im at the doctors ill be the one looking for an oxygen mask.
    :censored::giggle::sneaky:
     

  4. PHOENIX PHIL

    PHOENIX PHIL AH Ambassador

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2009
    Messages:
    6,733
    Video/Photo:
    23
    Likes Received:
    4,299
    Member of:
    SCI
    Hunted:
    USA, S. Africa
    I hope enysse never makes this mistake.
     

  5. bluey

    bluey AH Legend

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Messages:
    4,807
    Video/Photo:
    52
    Likes Received:
    1,905
    Location:
    australia,the next oppressed nation
    Member of:
    ssaa, aba ,bairnsdale field archers SFP
    Hunted:
    australia south africa (limpopo, north west,eastcape) canada (b.c)zambia
    id near bet if you asked him to check ,he would cut em off and sit them on the end of your nose ,so you can see for yourself
     
    Bobpuckett likes this.

  6. enysse

    enysse AH Ambassador

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2009
    Messages:
    10,063
    Video/Photo:
    68
    Likes Received:
    2,729
    Member of:
    Northeast Wisconsin SCI chapter, Lifetime member of NRA,RMEF
    Hunted:
    Namibia, South Africa (East Cape, Guateng and Limpopo)
    You guys have no idea of all the wonderful things, I've seen or heard. Never screw around with a nurse.

    BTW, women are way more crafty than guys at times, they have zero tolerance for BS.
     

  7. bluey

    bluey AH Legend

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Messages:
    4,807
    Video/Photo:
    52
    Likes Received:
    1,905
    Location:
    australia,the next oppressed nation
    Member of:
    ssaa, aba ,bairnsdale field archers SFP
    Hunted:
    australia south africa (limpopo, north west,eastcape) canada (b.c)zambia
    yup up set a nurse, and if the thermometer taste like shit , you know why,,,,,,,,
     
    enysse likes this.

  8. enysse

    enysse AH Ambassador

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2009
    Messages:
    10,063
    Video/Photo:
    68
    Likes Received:
    2,729
    Member of:
    Northeast Wisconsin SCI chapter, Lifetime member of NRA,RMEF
    Hunted:
    Namibia, South Africa (East Cape, Guateng and Limpopo)
    Or your call light goes unanswered until the legal limit is met
     

  9. PHOENIX PHIL

    PHOENIX PHIL AH Ambassador

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2009
    Messages:
    6,733
    Video/Photo:
    23
    Likes Received:
    4,299
    Member of:
    SCI
    Hunted:
    USA, S. Africa
    And when she does answer it's with a rubber glove!
     

  10. bluey

    bluey AH Legend

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Messages:
    4,807
    Video/Photo:
    52
    Likes Received:
    1,905
    Location:
    australia,the next oppressed nation
    Member of:
    ssaa, aba ,bairnsdale field archers SFP
    Hunted:
    australia south africa (limpopo, north west,eastcape) canada (b.c)zambia
    ha ha ha and her smile is as cold as her hand
     

  11. enysse

    enysse AH Ambassador

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2009
    Messages:
    10,063
    Video/Photo:
    68
    Likes Received:
    2,729
    Member of:
    Northeast Wisconsin SCI chapter, Lifetime member of NRA,RMEF
    Hunted:
    Namibia, South Africa (East Cape, Guateng and Limpopo)
    I tell you though, I've dealt with a lot of patients that were labeled "difficult" and all they really wanted was someone to talk to, they were lonely. And felt they were being ignored.
     

  12. BRICKBURN

    BRICKBURN SUPER MODERATOR CONTRIBUTOR GOLD BENEFACTOR AH Ambassador

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2010
    Messages:
    17,402
    Video/Photo:
    411
    Likes Received:
    8,945
    Hunted:
    Namibia, South Africa, Botswana, Mozambique, Canada, USA, Mexico
    They were all asking for their test results and you were the only one who answered the question! :)
     
    enysse likes this.

  13. Nyati

    Nyati AH Ambassador

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2011
    Messages:
    5,393
    Video/Photo:
    65
    Likes Received:
    1,238
    Location:
    Madrid, Spain
    Member of:
    RFEC, RFETO
    Hunted:
    Spain, Finland, RSA ( KwaZulu Natal, Limpopo, North West, Northern Cape, Free State ).
  14. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2009
    Messages:
    4,941
    Video/Photo:
    27
    Likes Received:
    502
    Location:
    Russellville
    Member of:
    NAHC Life Member, NRA Life Member,SCI, Buckmasters
    Hunted:
    USA(from Coast to Coast and Alaska), Germany, South Africa, Canada
    With family that have everything from RN's to almost PHD in blood works you've got me scared of getting sick. :LOL: Good one Ak
     

  15. sestoppelman

    sestoppelman AH Legend

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2010
    Messages:
    4,363
    Video/Photo:
    80
    Likes Received:
    1,840
    Member of:
    NRA, NA Hunt Club
    Hunted:
    Tanzania, Botswana, Zimbabwe (2), Namibia (2), South Africa (2)
    You outdid yourself with that one bluey!:LOL:
     

Share This Page