My roommate is an addict

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Eric Anderson, Dec 8, 2018.

  1. Eric Anderson

    Eric Anderson AH Enthusiast

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    A Friend of the family (Going back 4 generations) got hooked on drugs at college. He did the typical addict things, stealing from work, then family to support his habit. Eventually was busted and spent a year in jail, 4 credit hours from graduation with an accounting degree.
    He had burned all his bridges with his family ion getting out. I took him in upon the condition that he go to rehab and stay clean.
    He worked like a dog doing lawn maintenance for 8 months, then worked even harder as the lowest man on the totem poll on a pipe laying crew. 2 years later he is a foreman on the best production crew in the company.
    He also has started useing again. He just got fired, he was useing a company gas card to buy drugs. The owner of the company is probably going to press charges. He was 5 days away from getting off of probation, I was going to take him to Africa to hunt next year.
    Instead he has two choices, go back to rehab, or his probation officer gets a call. He has until Monday, we have a nasty winter storm blowing in, and even I am not that heartless to kick someone outdoors in this weather.
    All my firearms are now at my parents. I have a safe, but him home alone with a farm full of tools means no safe is safe.
    He won’t steal from me, but his addiction will.

    Now I have to worry about people coming to collect on debt he owes them. The kind of people I won’t lose a wink of sleep over dealing with in a Marine manner. Still, I’d rather deal with them with an AR-15 than a 1911.

    #^%{

    Sorry, I just needed to vent.
     
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  2. BRICKBURN

    BRICKBURN AH ENABLER SUPER MODERATOR CONTRIBUTOR LIFETIME TITANIUM BENEFACTOR AH Ambassador

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    Hope he goes for the help.
     
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  3. Pheroze

    Pheroze AH ENABLER AH Legend

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    I am very sorry your charity has become a trap. Addictions are horrible, and it was extremely kind of you to take in such a troubled person. Sadly, I think he has a very long journey ahead of him.
     
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  4. Eric Anderson

    Eric Anderson AH Enthusiast

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    He never made it to Monday. Sometime in the wee hours of this morning, he went through my Jeep, found $260 I was going to buy a Christmas gift with, and then stole the keys to my ‘97 Chevy 2500. I got a call from my Dads friend this morning, asking if I was ok. I asked him yes, why? The truck was on the side of the road about a half mile from my house. I went to look at the truck with him, it was destroyed, it had hopped the median, gone across two lanes, and skidded along the guardrail for a bridge.

    I then went home and checked his Bed, he was passed out. I dragged him out, asking him where my truck was. He told me he hadn’t driven it.

    He told the Deputies the truth.

    I value that truck more than a brand new Denali. It was my grandfathers. When I was young , he, grandma, and Mindy and Rosie ( their dogs) would come visiting from across the country pulling their fifth wheel.
    I had planned on keeping that truck forever.
     

  5. PHOENIX PHIL

    PHOENIX PHIL AH ENABLER AH Ambassador

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    To say that sucks is an understatement, I believe one day your kindness will be repaid in some way.
     
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  6. tarbe

    tarbe AH ENABLER AH Legend

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    That's some really tough stuff.

    You have been the best friend possible...but now comes the really hard part. The tough love part.

    I doubt you can help your friend in any way now, other than turning him loose to pay the piper.

    The "bottom" isn't the same thing for everyone. Evidently, the bottom is a very deep pit for this fellow.

    Sorry for all the losses you've incurred...of all kinds.
     
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  7. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    Whew, what a mess. Did you learn anything?
     

  8. Bullthrower338

    Bullthrower338 AH ENABLER AH Legend

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    Brutal story, all to common anymore it seems though. You are a good man trying to help a friend, some people just don’t want the help. He should ask Christ for forgiveness and forever be greatful that you didn’t beat his teeth out with that 1911. Steal money or even a wife isn’t cool but the pickup would have really pissed me off!
     
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  9. bilmcc

    bilmcc AH Enthusiast

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    That is a bunch of heartbreak, Eric. You were a good man to keep believing in your friend. I don't believe in karma, but I truly hope things work out for you in some good way.
     

  10. BWH

    BWH AH ENABLER AH Legend

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    Notify local authorities.... give them
    A heads up of situation. They actually appreciate it. As for your buddy..... that’s too bad. I’ve lived it. Get them help... may require y’all parting ways. Not trying to be calloused, just honest.
     
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  11. LivingTheDream

    LivingTheDream AH Legend

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    One of my best friends got hooked on that shit. Stole from some friends, tried to steal from me (didn't work). Dont know whatever happen to him, haven't spoken to him in 8 years. Really sad to see so much wasted potential.

    Dont lose faith my friend, I'm sorry that happen to you. You did a good thing and will say you are probably a better man than I would have been had he wreaked my truck. He has a long road ahead.
     
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  12. CAustin

    CAustin AH ENABLER BRONZE SUPPORTER AH Ambassador

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    Ditto!
     

  13. Certus

    Certus AH Senior Member

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    Lather, rinse, repeat. The cycle rarely breaks..
     

  14. Hogpatrol

    Hogpatrol AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    Yep, sixty percent recidivism rate and ninety percent of addicts are NOT in rehab. The odds are against not going to the grave addicted. The U.S. problem is here because we are soft on addicts and give them multiple chances and easy access to addictive drugs. My cure? Rehab three times and then you're shipped away to a prison farm or some type of hard labor for five years, no parole.
     

  15. wesheltonj

    wesheltonj AH Elite

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    (1) Quite common for folks to get revoked right before they terminate from Probation. (2) I have sent many folks to rehab, and back again. Frankly, unless they are on AA/NA and have daily sponsor contact, they are never going to break the cycle. Drugs or booze, it does not matter.

    I had one lady, private treatment, SCRAM monitor, daily AA, etc. The day after the removal of the SCRAM unit, she got drunk at home passed out with a lit cigarette, and burned down her house with her in it. Some folks no matter how hard to try, they just can't break the cycle. Death comes to all of us in the end. I would like my end closer to 100, for others much sooner.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2018
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  16. BRICKBURN

    BRICKBURN AH ENABLER SUPER MODERATOR CONTRIBUTOR LIFETIME TITANIUM BENEFACTOR AH Ambassador

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    Perhaps a forced dry out is going to be required.
     
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  17. gillettehunter

    gillettehunter AH ENABLER AH Legend

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    Tough situation. Sounds like he will be spending a long time in jail. Addictions can be tough to beat. I hope it works out good for him in the end, but the odds are against it. Good for you doing what you could to help.
    Bruce
     

  18. edward

    edward GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    your still a good man and always will be.
     

  19. ActionBob

    ActionBob AH ENABLER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    Eric you are a good man for trying so hard to help. Sadly in these cases, rarely do good deeds go unpunished....

    Best thing you can do at this point is to assist the authorities in realizing the full problem and hopefully your friend gets some serious help in cleaning up his act, even if it is forced.
     

  20. Eventually_Africa_Again

    Eventually_Africa_Again AH Enthusiast

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    This is the truth. I'm not disagreeing with what anyone else said here, I just want to point out that you have already hit the nail on the head. Your friend is one person, the addict is another. Unfortunately it looks like, at this point in his life, the addict has taken control. It might be time to part ways for a while. Assist law enforcement, give them all the information you can and search your soul for weather you are going to press charges on the truck. Myself, I probably would but not out of vengeance. That will be more time for him in prison where, hopefully, he enters a forced program. That might work, that might not and there is very little you can do to help. My exwifes sister had something similar happen to her and I admit that I didn't have the patience or big bigheartedness to deal with it. If I did maybe she wouldn't be in jail for meth now and be having her kiddo taken away. Who knows. The point is the addict will override who your friend is and until the help is forced on them it won't get better. Sorry for the loss of your truck as well, that's a kick in the teeth and no mistake.
     
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