Brighten your day, or someone else's

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by ArmyGrunt, Mar 27, 2019.

  1. ArmyGrunt

    ArmyGrunt AH Elite

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    Just to give you a smile today!!
    So my fun today started at the zoo. As I was leaving the Zoo, I start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
    The looks on those folks face was priceless. Try it!
    No one is listening until you make a mistake.
    Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else.
    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
    It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
    Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
    There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

    If you want to be annoying
    At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

    Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

    Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

    Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

    Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

    Don't use any punctuation do the following:

    Ask people what sex they are.
    Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
    Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
    Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
     

  2. CAustin

    CAustin AH ENABLER BRONZE SUPPORTER AH Ambassador

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    Hunted:
    South Africa, KwaZulu Natal, Kalahari, Northwest, Limpopo, Gauteng, APNR Kruger Area. USA Georgia, South Carolina, Arkansas, New Mexico, North Carolina and Texas

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