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It’s a leap in the right direction and conservationists have hailed SAA as a beacon of action among major corporations. Our local carrier and the largest in Africa has put a total block on hunting trophies, meaning whatever wealthy foreigners come to shoot here won’t be going home with them...

A vampire bat came flapping in from a night of foraging, covered in fresh blood. He parked himself on the cave's roof to get some sleep. Soon all the other bats... smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to shut up and let him get some sleep, but they...

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for...

Back and forth . . . . back and forth . . . . In and out . . . . in and out . . . . A little to the right . . . . a little to the left . . . . She could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . . Between her breasts . . . . and, trickling down the small of her back . . . . She was getting near...

The Italian Lover, a virile middle aged Italian gentlemen named Guido, was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman. Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his...

Windows frozen Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open." Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now!”

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news: "There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's...

A man received the following text from his neighbor I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I do not get it at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live...

Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous. Recently, a female sheriff's deputy arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22 year-old white male, who was fornicating with a pumpkin in a field at night.The next day, at the Gwinnet County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious...

This is the European version of a crow.

The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase. "What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously. “What happened?? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an e-mail to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my...

Or a perfect example of idiots in action.. Do not have any liquids near your keyboard. http://www.snotr.com/video/144...e_a_Taser__Stun_Gun_

It was pointed out to me that on election day the Democratic vote started out with a pretty healthy lead - and then the Republicans got off work...

I've never understood why woman love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that a woman loves in her cat, she hates in a man!

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local pub which is only two blocks from the house. I got him a Fosters He didn't like it, so I had it. Then I got him a Carling Black...

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world,I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's ass. It's the tortoise life for me! 1.. If walking is good for your health,postmen would be immortal. 2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat. 3.. A rabbit...

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar...

During her physical examination, a doctor asked a retired woman about her physical activity level. She said she spent 3 days a week in the outdoors. "Yesterday afternoon was typical; I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I...

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm...

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by." "No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?" "It is...

A Russian and Ole the Norwegian wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach came to Ole and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian.. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has...

I went through the KFC drive through, I asked for the Hillary Clinton Special, the guy behind the window asked what that was as he had never heard of it before. I told him that it's two fat thighs, two small breasts and a left wing. There was a moment of silence, then laughter broke out and I...

God Said, "Adam, I want you to do something for me." Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?" God said, "Go down into that valley." Adam said, "What's a valley?" God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river." Adam said, "What's a River?" God explained that to him, and...

A Catholic priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all...

*Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?* *A: Try a bookstore, under fiction.* *Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?* *A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done you'll...

That my have taken a bit longer and more effort but the results are very nice! Thanks Jerome and who ever else may have been involved! (y) (y) (y)(y)(y)(y)(y)(y)(y)

After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing. Just had my water bill of $175, dropped on my mat. That's a lot. Oxfam can supply a whole African village for just $2 a month: time to change supplier I think. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from...

Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat...

A new government study has found that women with large asses live longer than men who mention it to them . :ignore:

I started this project some years ago. Looks like I'll never get around to finishing it, so I'm going to sell it. SORRY, Local pick up only.

Bob: "Hey Jim, did you hear about the Obama administration scandal? Jim: "You mean the Mexican gun running?" Bob: "No, the other one." Jim: "You mean SEAL Team 6?" Bob: "No, the other one." Jim: "Obama saying the avg family would save $2,500 on their premiums?" Bob: "No, the other one."...

Shiei'te happens?" :rolleyes: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/11/world/middleeast/suicide-bomb-instructor-accidentally-kills-iraqi-pupils.html

Barack Obama discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Joe the Plumber to come and fix it. Joe drives to Obama's house, which is located in a very exclusive neighborhood where all the residents make more than $250,000 per year. Joe arrives and takes his tools into the house. Joe...

This is a very lucky guy.

A guy goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. "What size?" asks the clerk. "Gee, I don't know." "Go see Sophie in Aisle 4." He goes over to see Sophie, who grabs him by the crotch and yells, "Medium!" Mortified, the guy hurries over to pay and quickly leaves. Another guy comes in to...

UNBELIEVABLE!! ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT. A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 with monthly payments of $560.00. He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin . It's mid-winter.............and of course...

Yes, our grandmothers still had genuine knowledge of staying naturally healthy!!! My granny lectured me about her practical knowledge: æ“¢or better digestion, I drink beer, for loss of appetite I drink white wine, with low blood pressure, red wine, with high blood pressure, cognac and...

December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow...

The wife came home early and found herhusband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you.. I want a divorce...

A woman goes into Discount Fishing Supplies to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just picks one and goes over to the counter. The salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything...

Lars was walking by the cemetary when he noticed Ole kneeling at a grave. Ole seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, Vhy did ya have to die? Vhy did ya have to die? Lars approached him and said, Ole, I don't vish to interfere with your grief, but this demonstration of...

Then take a look at this. Biertijd.com // Media » Workers Fail Compilation

Here's some that can be confusing for those whose English is a second language... Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, the Guinea Pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. Why is it that writer's write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham...

I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist deep and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale...

imgur: the simple image sharer

In Church, I heard a sweet elderly lady in the pew next to me saying a prayer. It was so innocent and sincere that I just have to share it with you: "Dear Lord, this has been a tough four to five years. You have taken my favorite actor Patrick Swayze. My favorite Blues Singer Amy...

Santa Baby - does this bring a twinkle? IS IT RAIN OR SNOW?..... A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife. "No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied. "No, I'm...

This is my new neighbor.. She's single... She lives right across the road. I can see her place from my deck. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway and knocked on my door. I rushed to open it, she...

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he...

Lion VS Cape Buff