on a lighter note...

Wheels said:

Been there. Done that. Many times.

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Ok, on a serious note what is the best course of action here? I’ve been bogged a couple of times in 4wd hunting cars but never that bad. In Poland if I get badly bogged I’ll make a trip to the nearest farm and ask the owner for assistance with a tractor, but when the tractors get stuck like that...

observe said:

.....probably fake???
....now busy with 3th batch adjusted recipe.

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You got that recipe from a prison inmate

Opposite Pole said:

Ok, on a serious note what is the best course of action here? I’ve been bogged a couple of times in 4wd hunting cars but never that bad. In Poland if I get badly bogged I’ll make a trip to the nearest farm and ask the owner for assistance with a tractor, but when the tractors get stuck like that...

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Tractor with mechanical winch, and if it is not enough, Caterpillar bulldozer is your friend

adzhoo said:

Tractor with mechanical winch, and if it is not enough, Caterpillar bulldozer is your friend

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And a shovel...

Mekaniks said:

And a shovel...

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I think it’d have to be a community project

Opposite Pole said:

Ok, on a serious note what is the best course of action here? I’ve been bogged a couple of times in 4wd hunting cars but never that bad. In Poland if I get badly bogged I’ll make a trip to the nearest farm and ask the owner for assistance with a tractor, but when the tractors get stuck like that...

Click to expand...

Farmers with tractors are our friends.


I had a right of way maintenance company. ie: maintain vegetation along highways, pipelines, waterways, etc. In the example above, we would have a bat wing mower that would first have to be disconnected, but would also help you not get quite so buried, usually. A track-hoe would be brought in to dig out the back end and then chain up to the track hoe to pull out. About 80-90% of the time you want to be pulled out the direction you went in. Occasionally you may need to be pulled across to the other side. The photo above is about as bad as you ever see, unless your working directly in water. Normally we would hook up another tractor or two to pull the stuck tractor out. On cases when you could get a wrecker that hauls semi-trucks close, they could normally wench you out with their outriggers down.(Probably not in the example above) We would keep a couple rolls of 1" wire rope for longer pulls either at the yard, on the fuel truck or in the back of a supervisors pickup during the spring when most of the problems with getting stuck happened. We also used 4x4 tractors, unlike the one in the photo.

In the photo above, it is operator error for being stuck so deep. It should never have been buried like it is. "When you find yourself in a hole, quite digging"

In Africa on landrovers, I have way too much experience digging a deadman, when there was no tree around. It is always good to carry a hoe (African hoe), ax and a hi lift jack. Also good is to build a wench on a platform made for a ball hitch. Then put a receiver on the front of the landrover as well as the back. That way you can always easily detach the wench and move it from front to back for which ever end you needed it. We did that on the tractors as well.

I'm not saying I'm bored of self isolation..... but did you know that if you rest one of your testicles on top of an empty beer bottle, and hold a flame at the base, eventually it gets sucked inside? If you've done this and know how to get it out, Email me back please..............
I’m asking on behalf of a close friend!!

Your between a rock and a hard place. You need to reheat the beer bottle until the air inside gets hot enough to expand sufficiently to pop your testicle out. Hopefully, the air expands before your testicle is toasted. At least that is what my friend said.

Excommunicated

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, "almost?"'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

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Dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying a mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not. We cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?’------------------------------------------------------------

Father O'Malley answers the phone.

Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the Taxation Department. Can you help us?'
'I'll try!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will!'

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An elderly man walks into a confessional.

Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two hitch-hiking college girls. We went to a motel where I had sex with each of them three times.'

Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'

Man: 'What sins?'

Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'

Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'

Man: 'I'm 92 years old . . . I'm telling everybody!'

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An elderly man went to his doctor and said,

'Doc, I think I’m getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.'

'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'

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Stress Reliever

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries and troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well. that's because we aren't married.'

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Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mum: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on Daddy's lap.'

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A newly married man asked his wife,

'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

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A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.

'What was that for?' the man asked.

The wife replied, 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Betty on it that I found in your trouser pocket.’

The man then said, 'When I was at the races last week, Betty was the name of the horse I bet on.'

The wife apologized and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.

Upon re-gaining consciousness, the man asked why she had hit him again.

Wife replied, 'Your horse phoned!'

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Hogpatrol said:

I'm not saying I'm bored of self isolation..... but did you know that if you rest one of your testicles on top of an empty beer bottle, and hold a flame at the base, eventually it gets sucked inside? If you've done this and know how to get it out, Email me back please..............
I’m asking on behalf of a close friend!!

Click to expand...

Speaking on behalf of a friend who got himself in the same predicament.

Don't soak the bottle that is holding your testicle in a pan of liquid nitrogen. In time the bottle will get so cold, it will spit your testicle out so hard that it will knock your eyeball out and replace it.

Just saying......

OUCH!