Australia wins hands Down!

Soooo, my first trip to the Amazon fishing they put a Aussie in our group. Enjoyed the hell outta it because apples to apples I’ve always thought Aussies were a lot like us Texans just with funny accents. Anyway, he kept making the joke about being a “wombat”. I asked him what the bloody hell he was talking about he explained that he was at a bar a while back and met a pretty Sheila. After some conversation she asked his name and he told her, “they call me the wombat”. One thing led to another and he goes home with her. They have themselves some dinner and have a nice “root”. As he’s getting his clothes on and goes to leave she asks why he doesn’t stay for a while. He tells her, “I already told you, I’m a wombat” she’s clearly confused and as he walks out the door he tells her to look it up. She grabs a dictionary and looks up wombat. She soon finds that “Wombats” are Australian animals that “eats roots and leaves”.
I didn’t get it until he explained what having a root was.....:LOL:
 
Last edited:
Skinnersblade said:
You've not yet been east bob! It's a whole different world east of Quebec!
Click to expand...
Skinnersblade
Quebec doesn't overly enthuse me but nova Scotia looks alright. I was talking to some people at Toronto airport that think if it ain't Nova Scotia it ain't really Canada. That could explain why I didn't see any of them there jackalopes.
Cheers mate Bob
 
CBH Australia,

Ya should have changed the American Flag to Iranian, Syrian, ISIS or North Korean Flag and you might have gotten a few laughs.....as opposed to American criticism.

However, I got your intent, even thou it may take other Americans a bit....that Big Red Roo, has(had) the balls to challenge Americans.....[the Roo] just didn't realize the ass whipping [it] was about to receive afterwards.

Back in the day, I had the---pleasure/displeasure/opportunity--- of simultaneously serving with a Brit and an Aussie.

Just Gotta Ask [for personal reason]:
Is the "animosity" between Brits and Aussies still as strong or even exsist any more?
 
Ridge Runner said:
CBH Australia,

Ya should have changed the American Flag to Iranian, Syrian, ISIS or North Korean Flag and you might have gotten a few laughs.....as opposed to American criticism.

However, I got your intent, even thou it may take other Americans a bit....that Big Red Roo, has(had) the balls to challenge Americans.....[the Roo] just didn't realize the ass whipping [it] was about to receive afterwards.

Back in the day, I had the---pleasure/displeasure/opportunity--- of simultaneously serving with a Brit and an Aussie.

Just Gotta Ask [for personal reason]:
Is the "animosity" between Brits and Aussies still as strong or even exsist any more?
Click to expand...
Ridge runner
Yeh we still like taking the piss out of the English
How can you tell when a plane load of brits land in Australia.
Answer
Even when all the engines are shut down the plane is still whining.
All ways will be piss taking between the English, Americans and Australians.
It is all done in jest with no disrespect to any one.
I'm sure the US and brits have some great jokes about us ozzies too.
Cheers mate Bob
 
Bob Nelson 35Whelen said:
Ridge runner
Yeh we still like taking the piss out of the English
How can you tell when a plane load of brits land in Australia.
Answer
Even when all the engines are shut down the plane is still whining.
All ways will be piss taking between the English, Americans and Australians.
It is all done in jest with no disrespect to any one.
I'm sure the US and brits have some great jokes about us ozzies too.
Cheers mate Bob
Click to expand...

Jeez I see they have upgraded the convict transports to airplanes now.....impressive...... :D:D Beers:
 
spike.t said:
Jeez I see they have upgraded the convict transports to airplanes now.....impressive...... :D:D Beers:
Click to expand...
Spike.t,
Nah mate they don't h ave convict tspt now, it's the poms ( English) coming out to check on the colonial.
One thing we are greatfull for is the great view the yanks (Americans) have on the rest of the world.
They have the world cup in baseball but it seems only Americans play.
Well I suppose if America only plays America they will be world champions. Is the world really just the USA maybe their worried if they play some one else they may heaven forbid lose.
What jokes do the Americans have about OZ.
Would love to hear some.
Just remember it is all in the name of good natured ribbing and not to be taken seriously.
Cheers mate Bob
 
@Von S. I wouldn’t disrespect anyone’s flag in general. I opened with saying I recall a Joke from childhood.

We have many immigrants who disrespect our culture and lifestyle although we are multicultural and some refugees who get more benefits and privileges than our own unemployed and homeless.

@Ridge Runner we always called the English whinging Poms, something that was common .

Irish jokes were common usually with a spin implying they are no true very bright.

Von.S. I recently had the pleasure of meeting some experienced American firefighters here helping us on my last fire deployment (Feb 2020) (ex Smoke jumpers, aviation specialists etc) Australia pay a contract fee to get assistance and utilise their experience for 1 month term. I have colleagues that have been to Canada on similar arrangements.

One firefighter Fred was keen for a drink. But did not want our square bottle. Funny Jack and Jim are in square bottle. It seems people with a taste for Bourbon dislike Rum and vice versa but Whisky is a little more universal. I call Bourbon, Bourbon it’s Rye whiskey and not what we call whisky.

As for sending money, thanks, Australia and our neighbours over the ditch (New Zealand) have always been behind America when have called upon us as allies. The ANZAC forces are a great part of our history and may have made the greatest sacrifices under our flag.

What I don’t understand is why at times politicians talk of changing our flag. One question Why? Just so they can make change in their term. We have

As far as donating money in crisis I recall Australia donating money to Indonesia after Tsunamis , they don’t seem to have a problem shooting Australian citizens convicted in their country. More so how much money did they spent on security around making sure no one intervened in the executions of the Bali 9? Just a show of force. When Indonesian terrorists bombed Bali night clubs full of civilians they got jail and sentences have been reduced. Why?

No disrespect intended.
 
spike.t said:
You are joking.... That stuff is disgusting ....leaves a foul after taste that takes some getting rid of.......... Had some usa moonshine when at Sci and it tasted like nectar compared to that bundaberg gut rot.....had home brewed firewater in couple of other countries and they were also far superior...... :D:D Booze:
Click to expand...

Mate, I feel fairly patriotic about Australia and OZ made products but when it comes to Bundaberg (the grog and the town) I say a polite but firm “no thank you”. I don’t mind a drop of decent rum but this ain’t it. As for the town, been stuck there once doing a boat delivery and had to wait few days for a replacement part. The place is not much to write home about. People were friendly though.
 
Ridge Runner said:
Back in the day, I had the---pleasure/displeasure/opportunity--- of simultaneously serving with a Brit and an Aussie.

Just Gotta Ask [for personal reason]:
Is the "animosity" between Brits and Aussies still as strong or even exsist any more?
Click to expand...

POMS are just grumpy cause they got stuck with the smaller island.
 
CBH Australia said:
@Von S. I wouldn’t disrespect anyone’s flag in general. I opened with saying I recall a Joke from childhood.

We have many immigrants who disrespect our culture and lifestyle although we are multicultural and some refugees who get more benefits and privileges than our own unemployed and homeless.

@Ridge Runner we always called the English whinging Poms, something that was common .

Irish jokes were common usually with a spin implying they are no true very bright.

Von.S. I recently had the pleasure of meeting some experienced American firefighters here helping us on my last fire deployment (Feb 2020) (ex Smoke jumpers, aviation specialists etc) Australia pay a contract fee to get assistance and utilise their experience for 1 month term. I have colleagues that have been to Canada on similar arrangements.

One firefighter Fred was keen for a drink. But did not want our square bottle. Funny Jack and Jim are in square bottle. It seems people with a taste for Bourbon dislike Rum and vice versa but Whisky is a little more universal. I call Bourbon, Bourbon it’s Rye whiskey and not what we call whisky.

As for sending money, thanks, Australia and our neighbours over the ditch (New Zealand) have always been behind America when have called upon us as allies. The ANZAC forces are a great part of our history and may have made the greatest sacrifices under our flag.

What I don’t understand is why at times politicians talk of changing our flag. One question Why? Just so they can make change in their term. We have

As far as donating money in crisis I recall Australia donating money to Indonesia after Tsunamis , they don’t seem to have a problem shooting Australian citizens convicted in their country. More so how much money did they spent on security around making sure no one intervened in the executions of the Bali 9? Just a show of force. When Indonesian terrorists bombed Bali night clubs full of civilians they got jail and sentences have been reduced. Why?

No disrespect intended.
Click to expand...
CBH
Well said Chris
Cheers mate Bob
 
Well mate no hard feelings we all like a good joke. But we can’t let you off that easy, there is still a small price to pay..... need a line on a good low cost buffalo hunt down under
 
scott fairchild said:
Well mate no hard feelings we all like a good joke. But we can’t let you off that easy, there is still a small price to pay..... need a line on a good low cost buffalo hunt down under
Click to expand...
Mate if I ever get one I will ask if I can share the details.
I plan to pursue a Buff Hunt or management hunt but I am a long way from the area they are found and I don’t know anyone up there. (Northern Territory and parts of Queensland.
I believe there may be good free range hunting but you will need a guide as some is on Aboriginal lands and the guide will have to have permits.
Australian Buffalo is definitely something I want to do.
 
Bob Nelson 35Whelen said:
Ridge runner
Yeh we still like taking the piss out of the English
How can you tell when a plane load of brits land in Australia.
Answer
Even when all the engines are shut down the plane is still whining.
All ways will be piss taking between the English, Americans and Australians.
It is all done in jest with no disrespect to any one.
I'm sure the US and brits have some great jokes about us ozzies too.
Cheers mate Bob
Click to expand...

The opportunity: We had each other's back when things went sideways.

The pleasure: (for me when I kept my mouth shut), the Brit and Aussie were constantly verbally assaulting/insulting each other, watching and listening to these 2 paree and attack, like they were fencing, was very amusing. Until..

The displeasure: Until..it came to blows, only twice,..for the life of me I can't remember off hand the insults exchanged...but it was serious enough punches were thrown...it took awhile and a few drinks later before all was grudgingly forgiven.

Then there were those times when I would open my mouth, laugh, or have a proverbial brain fart; I would catch hell from both of them (all in good spirited fun) for awhile.

Whenever the Aussie wasn't around the Brits would degrade all Australians, and when the Brit wasn't around the Aussie would degrade all Brits.
 
Truthfully I’ve never heard a joke about ozzies. Really the only laughable thing I can say is I never know what the hell ya’ll are talking about. We’re two peoples separated by a common language.
 
I can say I found reading about the Emu war quite amusing. Nothing like getting your collective asses kicked by a bunch of birds with a brain the size of an acorn.
 
scott fairchild said:
Well mate no hard feelings we all like a good joke. But we can’t let you off that easy, there is still a small price to pay..... need a line on a good low cost buffalo hunt down under
Click to expand...
Scott Fairchild
Mate there ain't any such beast as good low cost buffalo hunt in Australia. You would have more chance of shooting one of them there jackalopes mate. That's why the average wage earners hunt Africa/Namibia because it's cheaper.
A buffalo hunt in OZ will set you back between 7and 10,000 dollars Australian for 7 days plus air fair.
Cheers mate Bob
 
spike.t said:
You are joking.... That stuff is disgusting ....leaves a foul after taste that takes some getting rid of.......... Had some usa moonshine when at Sci and it tasted like nectar compared to that bundaberg gut rot.....had home brewed firewater in couple of other countries and they were also far superior...... :D:D Booze:
Click to expand...
Mike this reminds me I need to get back down to Tennessee and visit my baby sister... She tells me to hell with wine tasting, we are going Moonshine tasting and she claims to know all the best places;)
 
Bob Nelson 35Whelen said:
Scott Fairchild
Mate there ain't any such beast as good low cost buffalo hunt in Australia. You would have more chance of shooting one of them there jackalopes mate. That's why the average wage earners hunt Africa/Namibia because it's cheaper.
A buffalo hunt in OZ will set you back between 7and 10,000 dollars Australian for 7 days plus air fair.
Cheers mate Bob
Click to expand...
Yea, but the right Outfitter will let you shoot 4 for $10k ;) of course if you keep all the trophies, shoot 2 dingoes, a wild boar, and ...um 5 donkeys, it can cost more like $15,000:D:eek:
 
ActionBob said:
Mike this reminds me I need to get back down to Tennessee and visit my baby sister... She tells me to hell with wine tasting, we are going Moonshine tasting and she claims to know all the best places;)
Click to expand...
Action Bob
After you have tried that moonshine you might like to try some premium BUNDY RUM real smooth, just like mothers milk.
I don't know if any food group that fall into the rum group but RUM falls into food groups.
Cheers mate Bob
 
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