on a lighter note...

ws5bec354d.jpg
 
Lesson to be learned here........
An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution.
His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed......
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this?
Where have you been?
Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it.'
And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang.
The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all.
Wright would not be hanged tonight.
Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.
He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP COMPLAINING?!
 
For my next Trick I’m going to try and deliberately Offend the Elderly:

A 85-year-old man is having a drink in By The Docks' bar.
Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away.
The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her.
After a short while, the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before Norman has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone:
"I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game.
I want $100, and there's another condition".
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, Norman asks her what her condition is.
"You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
Norman takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.
Norman whips out his wallet and puts $100 dollars in her hand...
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly: "Paint my house."
Our needs change as we get older, and we tend to look for bargains
 
Men Teaching Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER



REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By July 28, 2018

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .


Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs. beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 AM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday fo r 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum
..
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday , Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon , 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield
.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.


Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday fo r 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
 
Men Teaching Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER



REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By July 28, 2018
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .


Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks,
Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs. beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks,
Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks,
Saturday 10:00 AM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at
2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks,
Tuesday and Thursday fo r 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks,
Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum
..
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights;
Monday , Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at
6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks,
Saturday's noon , 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield
.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.


Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks,
Tuesday and Thursday fo r 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


I would like this... but I'm scared to.:mad::cautious: :V Dope Slap: :A Crutches:
 
Men Teaching Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER



REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By July 28, 2018
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .


Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks,
Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs. beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks,
Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks,
Saturday 10:00 AM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at
2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks,
Tuesday and Thursday fo r 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks,
Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum
..
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights;
Monday , Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at
6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks,
Saturday's noon , 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield
.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.


Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks,
Tuesday and Thursday fo r 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Danger Will Robinson! Single, somewhat adult male posting here, but that there stuff might get you doghoused or worse, hopefully not a Bobbiting if the female is particularly vengeful. Sadly I agree and also a reason why I'm a single, somewhat adult male.

Cheers!
 

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Nick BOWKER HUNTING SOUTH AFRICA wrote on EGS-HQ's profile.
Hi EGS

I read your thread with interest. Would you mind sending me that PDF? May I put it on my website?

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