WORLDWIDE DATING PROTOCOL...!

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by DOC-404, Sep 18, 2012.

  1. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    ENGLISH WOMEN:



    First date:
    You get to kiss her goodnight.
    Second date:
    You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
    Third date:
    You get to have sex but only when she wants to and only in the missionary position.



    SCOTTISH WOMEN:


    First Date:
    You both get blind drunk and have sex.
    Second Date:
    You both get blind drunk and have sex.
    20th Anniversary:
    You both get blind drunk and have sex.


    ITALIAN WOMEN:


    First Date:
    You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
    Second Date:
    You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
    Third Date:
    You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
    5th Anniversary:
    You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
    6th Anniversary:
    You find yourself a Mistress.


    CHINESE WOMEN:


    First date:
    You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
    Second date:
    You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
    Third date:
    You don't even get to the third date and you realize nothing is ever going to happen.


    INDIAN WOMEN:


    First date: Meet her parents.
    Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
    Third date: Wedding night.


    BLACK WOMEN:


    First Date:
    You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
    Second Date:
    You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
    Third Date:
    You get to pay her rent.
    Tenth Date:
    She's pregnant by someone other than you.


    MEXICAN WOMEN:


    First Date:
    You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
    Second Date: She's pregnant.
    Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.

    JEWISH WOMEN:


    First Date: You spend all your money to impress her.
    Second Date: You take a loan to keep the image
    Third Date: You're broke, she finds someone wealthier


    ARAB WOMEN:


    First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire Arab community finds out.
    Second Date: You are shot dead in the street and your balls are fed to the goats.
    No third date:


    The POINT?

    'DON'T YOU JUST LOVE SCOTTISH WOMEN?' :tongue:
     
  2. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    Checking on next flight to Scotland....:tongue:
     
  3. richteb

    richteb AH Enthusiast

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    Just went out and got my self a Scottish kilt and and bag pipes.
     
  4. Cliffy

    Cliffy AH Elite

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    Kind of drafty in the kilt ain't it?
     
  5. richteb

    richteb AH Enthusiast

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    Cliffy that's true, but think about the state of readiness.
     
  6. Diamondhitch

    Diamondhitch AH Legend

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    I think we have discovered the true genious behind the kilt... kwikies
     
  7. richteb

    richteb AH Enthusiast

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    I think some invetions are truly underrated.
     
  8. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    Location:
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    Try to get the seat next to mine. ;)
     

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