WOMEN'S ENGLISH

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by Bobpuckett, Aug 30, 2011.

  1. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want..
    5. I am sorry = you will be sorry
    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

    MEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit =I'm gay

    How to impress a woman:

    Wine her,
    Dine her;
    Call her,
    Hug her,
    Support her,
    Hold her,
    Surprise her,
    Compliment her,
    Smile at her,
    Listen to her,
    Laugh with her,
    Cry with her,
    Romance her,
    Encourage her,
    Believe in her,
    Pray with her,
    Pray for her,
    Cuddle with her,
    Shop with her,
    Give her jewelry,
    Buy her flowers,
    Hold her hand,
    Write love letters to her,
    Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.

    How to impress a man:

    Show up naked, bring popcorn and beer...
    don't block the TV!
     
  2. timbear

    timbear AH Enthusiast

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    Just goes to show: women like the simple things in life - men!
     
  3. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    :clap::clap:
     

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