WHO PLAYS GOLF WHEN NOT OUT HUNTING..?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by DOC-404, Mar 10, 2014.

  1. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    TEN BEST CADDY REMARKS

    #10
    Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
    Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

    #9
    Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
    Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

    #8
    Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
    Caddy: "Yes , you miss the ball much closer now."

    #7
    Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
    Caddy: "Eventually."

    #6
    Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
    Caddy: "I don't think so . That would be too much of a Coincidence."

    #5
    Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction"
    Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

    #4
    Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
    Caddy: "Very good , but personally, I prefer golf."

    #3
    Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
    Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day."

    #2
    Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
    Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

    #1 Best Caddy Comment:
    Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
    Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir.."

    And the old favorite.....

    The Golfer has been slicing off the tee at every hole.
    He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy if he has seen any obvious problems.
    The caddy replies: "There's a piece of shit on the end of your club ".
    The Golfer picks his club up and cleans the club face at which point the caddy says:
    "No, the other end!"

    :biggrin2:
  2. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    :clap::clap::clap:
  3. Divernhunter

    Divernhunter AH Veteran

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    Actually a golf course is a waste of a perfectly good shooting range
  4. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything for export had to be transported by ship. It was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.

    It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.
    Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

    Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening

    After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction ' Stow high in transit ' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this "volatile" cargo and start the production of methane.

    Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' , (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

    You probably did not know the true history of this word.

    Neither did I.

    I had always thought it was a golfing term...
  5. WALKINGPREY2

    WALKINGPREY2 AH Senior Member

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    If they'd only create a course where they actually fired the golf balls....then you could shoot 'em. Big fun then! LOL :)
  6. spike.t

    spike.t GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    :hmmmer::thinking: now Doc with all the jaegermeister you consume surely this produces a serious amount of methane, so does that mean your also full of s--t then? :laughing::laughing::laughing::biggrin2:
  7. Cliffy

    Cliffy AH Elite

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    Golf - Kinda like watching paint dry! Beating a little white ball around a big green lawn.

    Google up "Robin Williams Golf" Be careful language!
  8. Jaco Strauss

    Jaco Strauss AH Elite

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    Love the game the head down applies to my drive though ... Very Funny!
  9. James.Grage

    James.Grage GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    Not being a golfer...I do play a round with my brother every year during hunting season.

    This past year I did hit a couple of buckets of balls at St. Andrews golf club in Scotland, did not do to shabby.


    Golf balls on the shooting range, try to shoot the golf balls off the sticks makes a great target. Try it some time.
  10. Safari Afrika

    Safari Afrika AH Enthusiast

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    I like to play whenever I have a break !!! We are fortunate to have this on my doorstep ! Only 8 miles ! The longest drive in the world to reach the green !!!!!

    Extreme 19th | Legend Golf Safari Resort

    Happy Hunting and Golfing !
  11. Wheels

    Wheels GOLD SUPPORTER AH Elite

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    Very unique and neat hole Richard.

    A couple of questions:
    1. Is 400 meters the distance from tee to green or the drop in elevation?
    2. How much is the helicopter flight to the tee box?
    3. What is your best score on the hole?

    All the best.
  12. Johnny7604

    Johnny7604 BRONZE SUPPORTER AH Veteran

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    I play an "advanced" version of golf in which I avoid all fairways and pick my way to the green whilst using the cover of trees and bushes. I then take my hole shot from the treeline but not before lobbing a couple of shots over the green to make sure that the area is clear first.

    I find this method much more challenging than the mainstream game.

    I take pride in the fact that I am the only person I know if to bank a golfball off not one...not two... but three trees nearly killing my boss and finally hitting myself with it. That's right I made a triple bank shot and hit myself with a golfball. True story I can provide references if needed.
  13. Safari Afrika

    Safari Afrika AH Enthusiast

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    Drop in elevation .... The total distance over 730 yds ... Carry is 230 . You hit a driver and a good one is needed .
    You get 6 balls marked 1,3,5,7,9,11 . They have a spotter down below to find your best playable ball . My best 7 only trlied once ... Actually just off the green for 1 .... And then ..... Well that is a story for another day ! Total for the whole about 1000 and can take upto 4 golfers . So if we get enough guys together 250-300 including the hole . It takes 22 sec for theball to reach the bottom ....

    They also have a 18 signature course with 18 different signatures . Also a par 3 tribute course with 10 of th3 most well known par 3 in world ......


    VERY NICE ,,,,, ,,,, !!!,

    Happy Golfing !!
  14. Wheels

    Wheels GOLD SUPPORTER AH Elite

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    Richard, I may have to try this the next time I'm near Pietersburg. (Only if 3 others are willing to join for the helicopter ride.)

    Thanks for sharing it.
  15. Rob44

    Rob44 BRONZE SUPPORTER AH Fanatic

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    I lived Golf for a long time,,Carried a single digit handicap and a Class A club repair Card,,put myself thru Culinary school in part by doing repair and Club fitting,,I quit after back surgery cut my backswing in half ,,I guess just becoming an average golfer hurt my ego,,beside I don,t need a 4some to get some range time
  16. Safari Afrika

    Safari Afrika AH Enthusiast

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    Sure no problem !!! Let me know I will arrange it .., can always try and find couple others ! Truely awesome experience !!
  17. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    ..or you could line up a few cheeky-ass caddies.. :biggrin2:

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