Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Sep 19, 2013.

  1. observe

    observe CONTRIBUTOR AH Fanatic

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    And here we go...

    #10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
    #9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
    #8 - If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
    #7 - Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
    #6 - Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo
    . #5 - A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
    #4 - Guns function normally every day of the month.
    #3 - A gun doesn't ask , "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
    #2 - A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

    And the Number One reason Why Men Prefer Guns over women.....

    #1 - You can buy a silencer for a gun
     
  2. Diamondhitch

    Diamondhitch AH Legend

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    LOL Love #1
     
  3. enysse

    enysse AH Ambassador

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    Good one! :laughing: :clap:
     
  4. 1ObsessedHunter

    1ObsessedHunter AH Veteran

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    This is funny stuff.
     
  5. gi jane

    gi jane BRONZE SUPPORTER AH Enthusiast

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    Cheeky bastard... Good one!! lol! :p I was trying to think of a good come-back but this post was just too good.
    I've got to copy and share this if you don't mind..

    Thanks!
    Jane
     
  6. gi jane

    gi jane BRONZE SUPPORTER AH Enthusiast

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    The more I read this the funnier it gets..
    Dammit!!
     
  7. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    ..aaah, my kinda girl..! :beer:
     
  8. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    :clap::clap::clap:
     
  9. observe

    observe CONTRIBUTOR AH Fanatic

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    :think::bulb::rofl:

    [​IMG]
     

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  10. spike.t

    spike.t GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    :draught::beer::biggrin2:
     
  11. spike.t

    spike.t GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    and you can have lots of them to play with at the same time and they dont get pissed off or jealous or want to divorce you!! ;):biggrin:
     
  12. PeteG

    PeteG AH Enthusiast

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    :beer:
     
  13. gi jane

    gi jane BRONZE SUPPORTER AH Enthusiast

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    Hahaha!! The beer one is hilarious too!! I've really gotta find some good comebacks... Too funny!
     
  14. Cliffy

    Cliffy AH Elite

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    OK Here's a few for Jane :)

    Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
    One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
    The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
    ---------------------------------
    A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are having sex.
    The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
    To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
    ---------------------------------
    A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
    He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
    ------------------------------
    A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
    "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet.
    The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me."
    The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."
    ---------------------------------
    A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
    It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ."
    He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
    ---------------------------------
    A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone.
    "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
    "Is this her first child?" asks the doctor.
    "No," he shouts, "this is her husband!"
    ---------------------------------
    A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.
    A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.
    The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
    ---------------------------------
    A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic.
    His wife says, "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?"
    He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.
    "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks.
    "Here boy!" he replies.
    ---------------------------------
    A blonde man is in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
    "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
    "Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
    "It should be around your neck," says the guard.
    "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
    ---------------------------------
    (This one actually makes sense...sort of...lol)
    An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
    To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.
     

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