THREE ELDERLY HUNTERS..

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by DOC-404, Oct 16, 2013.

  1. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    Sixty is the worst age to be," said Spike. "You always feel like you have to pee, and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out."

    "Ah, that's nothin," said Bob. "When you're seventy, you don't have bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

    "Actually," said Bluey, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

    "Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked Spike.

    "No, I pee every morning at six o' clock. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock -- no problem at all."

    "So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?" asked Bob..

    "No, I have one every morning at six-thirty."

    Exasperated, Spike said, "You pee every morning at six and crap every morning at six-thirty.... So what's so bad about being 80?"

    "I don't wake up until seven." :biggrin2:
     
  2. Pawprint Safaris

    Pawprint Safaris SPONSOR AH Elite

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  3. Buff-Buster

    Buff-Buster GOLD SUPPORTER AH Elite

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    Good one Doc...friggin hilarious.
     
  4. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    :rofl: Now that's funny!
     
  5. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    Good one, Doc. Now.... get ready :angrymob:
     
  6. James.Grage

    James.Grage AH Legend

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    nice 1:banghead:

    :cool2:
     
  7. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    ..ready and waiting, mate. Bob's been here but I'm still waiting for the other two old codgers.. :heh:
     
  8. BRICKBURN

    BRICKBURN SUPER MODERATOR CONTRIBUTOR GOLD BENEFACTOR AH Ambassador

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    Wonder if this would help him?

    [​IMG]
     

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  9. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    :laughing: Wayne check the clock it's not time to get up yet he got 5 more minutes. :rofl:
     
  10. bluey

    bluey AH Legend

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    doc came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

    He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, doc.'


    doc was stunned. 'I'm dead? No,

    I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'


    St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'
    docv was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.



    The next thing doc knew,he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.


    A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

    'Not bad,' replied doc the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

    'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

    'Never,' said doc.

    'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

    doc did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

    doc was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.



    He soon laid another egg -- doc$, joy was overwhelming.

    As doc was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard hi$ vvife yelling.....

    "doc, wake up!You've shit the bed!
     
  11. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    ..get a new keyboard on your rustbucket you old wally..so you can write my name properly with a capital 'D'.. :biggrin2:
     
  12. bluey

    bluey AH Legend

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    Ha ha is it that obvious
    I'm starting to like this spelling correction thing on th iPhone but
     
  13. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    :rofl: Gey'm bluey!
     

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