The Coyote

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by Buff-Buster, Feb 19, 2013.

  1. Buff-Buster

    Buff-Buster GOLD SUPPORTER AH Elite

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    The Coyote

    CALIFORNIA:

    The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.
    A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the
    Governor.

    1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie
    "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only
    doing what is natural.

    2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote
    and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

    3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills
    the State $200 testing it for diseases.

    4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
    diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

    5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game
    conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now
    free of dangerous animals.

    6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a
    "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

    7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better
    treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

    8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the
    attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with
    additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

    9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit
    against the State.


    TEXAS:

    The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature
    trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

    1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

    2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

    And that, my friends,
    is why California is broke and Texas is not.

    For those that don't know...The part about the Texas Governor is true. Rick Perry killed a coyote with his .45 that attacked his dog while jogging.
     
  2. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    :clapping::clapping::clapping:
     
  3. Paw Print

    Paw Print SPONSOR AH Fanatic

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    Excellent!
     
  4. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    As the Brits would say, Good Shooting Governor!;)
     
  5. BRICKBURN

    BRICKBURN SUPER MODERATOR CONTRIBUTOR GOLD BENEFACTOR AH Ambassador

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    Short and sweet solution.

    Six of them on my driveway one night. I will not be calling animal control.
     

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