Nurses

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by AkMike, May 26, 2014.

  1. AkMike

    AkMike AH Fanatic

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    A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
    "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
    Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
    He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
    Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
    She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
    The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
    Are - my - test - results - back?"
     
  2. ArmyGrunt

    ArmyGrunt AH Veteran

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    I've heard this before, but still hilarious!
     
  3. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    next time im at the doctors ill be the one looking for an oxygen mask.
    :censored::giggle::sneaky:
     
  4. PHOENIX PHIL

    PHOENIX PHIL AH Legend

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    I hope enysse never makes this mistake.
     
  5. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    id near bet if you asked him to check ,he would cut em off and sit them on the end of your nose ,so you can see for yourself
     
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  6. enysse

    enysse AH Ambassador

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    You guys have no idea of all the wonderful things, I've seen or heard. Never screw around with a nurse.

    BTW, women are way more crafty than guys at times, they have zero tolerance for BS.
     
  7. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    yup up set a nurse, and if the thermometer taste like shit , you know why,,,,,,,,
     
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  8. enysse

    enysse AH Ambassador

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    Or your call light goes unanswered until the legal limit is met
     
  9. PHOENIX PHIL

    PHOENIX PHIL AH Legend

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    And when she does answer it's with a rubber glove!
     
  10. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    ha ha ha and her smile is as cold as her hand
     
  11. enysse

    enysse AH Ambassador

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    I tell you though, I've dealt with a lot of patients that were labeled "difficult" and all they really wanted was someone to talk to, they were lonely. And felt they were being ignored.
     
  12. BRICKBURN

    BRICKBURN SUPER MODERATOR CONTRIBUTOR GOLD BENEFACTOR AH Ambassador

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    They were all asking for their test results and you were the only one who answered the question! :)
     
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  13. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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  14. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    With family that have everything from RN's to almost PHD in blood works you've got me scared of getting sick. :LOL: Good one Ak
     
  15. sestoppelman

    sestoppelman SILVER SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    You outdid yourself with that one bluey!:LOL:
     

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