Living in South Africa

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Oct 4, 2013.

  1. observe

    observe CONTRIBUTOR AH Fanatic

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    [​IMG]

    ATT00001.jpg

    YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN: :D
    # You call a bathing suit a "kossie".
    # You call a traffic light a "robot".
    # You call an elevator a "lift"
    # You call a car hood a "bonnet"
    # You call a car trunk a "boot"
    # You call a pickup truck a "bakkie"
    # You call a Barbeque a "Braai"
    # Employees dance and sing in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
    # You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.
    # You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any.
    #You can sing your national anthem in four languages and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
    # You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.
    # You go to braais regularly, where you eat boerewors and swim, sometimes simultaneously.
    # You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer.
    # You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement!!!!!
    # You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car.
    # You know a taxi can move twice its certified number of people in one trip.
    #You travel 100's of kilometers to see snow.
    # You know the rules of Rugby better than any referee!
    # More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election.
    # People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given, Patience, Portion, Coronation.
    # "Now now" or "just now" can mean anything from a minute to a month.
    # You start every sentence with yes/no or ja/nee.
    #You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.
    # Travelling at 120 km/h, you're the slowest vehicle on the freeway.
    # A bullet train is being introduced, but potholes can't be fixed.
    # The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday.
    # You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one.
    # Prisoners, Doctors , Nurses , Traffic policemen and Teachers go on strike
    # Parliamentarians sleep in Parliament if they are present .
    # You don't stop at red traffic lights, just in case somebody hijacks your car.
    # Petrol is more expensive than Beer.
    #Saying you are black is affirmative, but saying you are white is racist.

    :bonk::happywave::third::bighello::beer:
     
  2. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    :thumb: that explains a lot .....
     
  3. enysse

    enysse AH Ambassador

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    Pretty good :clap:
     
  4. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    You forgot this one Willem

    # You say bliksem when you are "upset" !
     
  5. observe

    observe CONTRIBUTOR AH Fanatic

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    thanks nyati--forgot about that one

    also

    'gatvol' when disgusted :mad:
    and 'bakgat' when satisfied/happy :D
     
  6. PHOENIX PHIL

    PHOENIX PHIL AH Legend

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    And if I may add:

    Red meat should be eaten at breakfast, lunch and dinner, all in between snacks and for dessert.

    The pedestrian right of way means that pedestrians have the right to quickly get the hell out of the way of oncoming traffic. If the pedestrians fail to exercise this right in a timely manner, this is of no consequence to any drivers.
     
  7. BRICKBURN

    BRICKBURN SUPER MODERATOR CONTRIBUTOR GOLD BENEFACTOR AH Ambassador

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    # Prisoners, Doctors , Nurses , Traffic policemen and Teachers go on strike

    Add: Petrol Station Attendants and Fuel Truck Drivers,

    # Overtaking is done in all lanes and shoulders. Often and certainly at speed and simultaneously.
     
  8. Rob44

    Rob44 BRONZE SUPPORTER AH Fanatic

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    Great Stuff Guys,,,I lived in the Florida Keys for a Couple Years ,,I have a few that parallel SA and a few I could Add
     
  9. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    Wow it is unreal how it parallels with the USA!
     
  10. Cliffy

    Cliffy AH Elite

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    Stop lights, pedestrian right of way and speed limits are a goal and not a strict requirement! :)
    Red meat takes Big Red at every meal (ketchup).
     

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