Language Difficulties

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by timbear, Jul 20, 2012.

  1. timbear

    timbear AH Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2011
    Messages:
    427
    Likes Received:
    0
    Member of:
    SSAA, NZDA
    Hunted:
    Germany, NZ, Australia
    Absolutely Brilliant!

    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

    As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

    Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

    By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

    Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
  2. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,845
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    Russellville
    My Photos:
    27
    Member of:
    NAHC Life Member, NRA Life Member,SCI, Buckmasters
    Hunted:
    USA(from Coast to Coast and Alaska), Germany, South Africa, Canada
    :laughing: good one.
  3. Wolverine67

    Wolverine67 AH Fanatic

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2011
    Messages:
    539
    Likes Received:
    0
    My Photos:
    21
    Member of:
    SCI, SHAC, RW Guild
    Hunted:
    Norway, Sweden, Poland, South Africa
    LOL, sounds like the SS officer, Herr Flick, in the famous British TV serie, Allo Allo.....
    :biggrin2:
  4. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2011
    Messages:
    2,552
    Likes Received:
    23
    Location:
    Madrid, Spain
    My Photos:
    40
    Member of:
    RFEC, RFETO
    Hunted:
    Finland, RSA ( KwaZulu Natal, Limpopo, North West ), Spain
    Hilarious :clap::clap:
  5. Hotfire Hunting Safaris

    Hotfire Hunting Safaris AH Veteran

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2012
    Messages:
    105
    Likes Received:
    0
    My Photos:
    9
    Member of:
    PHASA WRSA

Share This Page