I TOOK A BREAK FROM HUNTING...AND GOT BORED.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by DOC-404, Sep 9, 2013.

  1. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    1,136
    Likes Received:
    26
    My Photos:
    57
    Hunted:
    South Africa, Namibia, Angola, Botswana, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Mozambique and Poachers.
    My wife asked me to take a break from hunting this year. I got terribly bored. This is, apparently, a copy of the letter she received from the management of a local superstore.

    Dear Mrs. Ferguson,
    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.
    We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'..
    This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layby

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6 In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

    15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

    And last, but not least:

    16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
  2. Jaco Strauss

    Jaco Strauss AH Elite

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2011
    Messages:
    1,617
    Likes Received:
    35
    My Photos:
    87
    Member of:
    SCI, PHASA, IPHA
    Hunted:
    South Africa, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Botswana, Tanzania
    Doc not being able to hunt will do that:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
  3. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    1,136
    Likes Received:
    26
    My Photos:
    57
    Hunted:
    South Africa, Namibia, Angola, Botswana, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Mozambique and Poachers.
    ..aaah, my friend, so you know how it feels.. :biggrin2:
  4. Jaco Strauss

    Jaco Strauss AH Elite

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2011
    Messages:
    1,617
    Likes Received:
    35
    My Photos:
    87
    Member of:
    SCI, PHASA, IPHA
    Hunted:
    South Africa, Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Botswana, Tanzania
    No kidding!!!! been home for almost two weeks I'm about to lose it....

    :bonk: :flashboobies: :banghead: :ballchain: :joint: Ha HA!!!

    My best always
  5. BRICKBURN

    BRICKBURN SUPER MODERATOR CONTRIBUTOR GOLD BENEFACTOR AH Ambassador

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2010
    Messages:
    6,937
    Likes Received:
    122
    My Photos:
    396
    Member of:
    KZN Hunters Assoc
    Hunted:
    Namibia, South Africa, Botswana, Canada, USA, Mexico
    I'm going to head out hunting so I don't join in.
  6. Diamondhitch

    Diamondhitch AH Legend

    Joined:
    May 2, 2011
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    7
    My Photos:
    67
    Member of:
    SCI
    Hunted:
    Canada (AB, SK, NWT, BC) USA (NM, TX) South Africa (Limpopo, KZN, Free State, Eastern Cape, Northen Cape), Kyrgyzstan
  7. PHOENIX PHIL

    PHOENIX PHIL AH Legend

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2009
    Messages:
    2,216
    Likes Received:
    42
    My Photos:
    23
    Member of:
    SCI
    Hunted:
    USA, S. Africa
    Got not tags in Arizona this year...........lots of new ideas for when my wife makes me go to WalMart.

Share This Page