FOR ALL THOSE WHO HAVE RAISED A SON...!

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by DOC-404, Sep 6, 2012.

  1. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    1,131
    Likes Received:
    21
    My Photos:
    57
    Hunted:
    South Africa, Namibia, Angola, Botswana, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Mozambique and Poachers.
    Life as a child growing up in Oklahoma ....

    Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little bad**s compound bow beginner kits.

    Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down?

    Tough sucker .

    That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old "Dukes of Hazzard" fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place.

    One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb came on in my head.

    I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Let's face it, to a 10 yr old mouth-breather like myself, ether really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).

    At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know?

    You know what? Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.

    Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

    I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my Dad getting out of the truck... "OH SHOOT"! He just got home from work.

    So help me, it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can.

    My Dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes.

    I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh shoot.

    When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet.

    I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 F****** decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low-to-the-ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

    The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this...

    "THE F****** DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE"!!!!!!!

    There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That sucker just got up and ran off.

    So here I am, on the ground, blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-Shirt shredded, my Dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback:

    "ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. D*** IT CEASE FIRE"!!!!!

    His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway.

    All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard.

    There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

    I wish I knew what I said to my Dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on.

    I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea.

    I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

    One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been complaining about that thing for years and Dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

    Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later.

    I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery.

    It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
  2. Hagar

    Hagar AH Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2010
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    1
    Boy does that bring back a lot of memories. Nice story
  3. spike.t

    spike.t GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2010
    Messages:
    2,833
    Likes Received:
    74
    My Photos:
    131
    Member of:
    sci int, basc
    Hunted:
    zambia, tanzania, zimbabwe, hungary, france, england
    docman you got me laughing there!! only "sensible" thing i can remember doing with a bow ,was three of us at what is obviously the classic age for doing these things approx 10yrs, standing close together then shooting straight up in the air and then seeing who was last to run like f..k to get away before they came back down..:bolt: seem to recall my mother having a sense of humour failure and no more bows and arrows....
  4. BRICKBURN

    BRICKBURN SUPER MODERATOR CONTRIBUTOR GOLD BENEFACTOR AH Ambassador

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2010
    Messages:
    6,925
    Likes Received:
    119
    My Photos:
    396
    Member of:
    KZN Hunters Assoc
    Hunted:
    Namibia, South Africa, Botswana, Canada, USA, Mexico
    Ah memories, a good laugh.

    Darwin awards... Amazing how many applications are made annually.

    Another set of Three amigos standing there shooting an arrow into the clear blue. You just had to see just how "straight up" you could make it go right!
    Watching the arrow disappear into the thin blue air with exhilaration and excitement turning to disbelief as you lost sight of it and then the dawning of mortality... running hell bent for it.
    At least we were bright enough to run into the wind.
    Mom never did hear those stories!!!
  5. Diamondhitch

    Diamondhitch AH Legend

    Joined:
    May 2, 2011
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    7
    My Photos:
    67
    Member of:
    SCI
    Hunted:
    Canada (AB, SK, NWT, BC) USA (NM, TX) South Africa (Limpopo, KZN, Free State, Eastern Cape, Northen Cape), Kyrgyzstan
    LOL, so thats what you were saying!!! Great story!!!

    I never blew up anything bigger than a pile of horse crap and my buddies dads lunch box with an indian band (he was so glad we visited him at work).
  6. Diamondhitch

    Diamondhitch AH Legend

    Joined:
    May 2, 2011
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    7
    My Photos:
    67
    Member of:
    SCI
    Hunted:
    Canada (AB, SK, NWT, BC) USA (NM, TX) South Africa (Limpopo, KZN, Free State, Eastern Cape, Northen Cape), Kyrgyzstan
    LOL I think every kid has done this. An early version of Cowboy poker except with an arrow instead of a bull, you wait as long as you dare before running and try not to be the biggest "wuss" by running first. LOL I still dont know how we survived childhood.
  7. spike.t

    spike.t GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2010
    Messages:
    2,833
    Likes Received:
    74
    My Photos:
    131
    Member of:
    sci int, basc
    Hunted:
    zambia, tanzania, zimbabwe, hungary, france, england
    i agree i dont know we survived , as these days kids cant do anything in case they hurt themselves, so we must have been very lucky!!!!!;):laughing:
  8. Biddleman

    Biddleman AH Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2012
    Messages:
    92
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Wrightsville, Pennsy-sippi
    Member of:
    Delta Waterfowl
    Hunted:
    USA, Botswana
    My friend and I had a slight variation of that game. We would shoot the arrow up towards one another and see if we could catch it. Of course this was done without shoes and after it rained. His mom once looked out the window and simply said becareful boys. They were the days!!!
  9. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Messages:
    2,383
    Likes Received:
    66
    Location:
    38.12.23south 149.50.37 east
    My Photos:
    29
    Member of:
    ssaa, aba ,bairnsdale field archers
    Hunted:
    australia south africa (limpopo, north west,eastcape) canada (b.c)
    my little brother and me never made any explosion that grand. but the flamming arrows and the vertical arrows bring back som e memeroies but. we used to love watching the arrow go skyward and then see it start to wobble as it slowed down and can remember it seem to lay side on as it stopped and then dissappear as gravity took over and we would stand there looking at each other just waiting until one would say now and we'd bolt up wind laughing like maniacs .
    then we discovered the old mans ute wasnt that hard to drive and boy didnt that change when my lil bro drove thru the carport and into the kitchen, when thank christ my parents were at the school picking me up from the principals office .
    ah the memories just keep coming once you start thinking back
    now days its young kody that is in it up to his chin especially the driving bug the local cops have come to see his mother twice so far to issue his last warning for driving my ute in the bush while im at sea .
    id love to hear his secrets one day of things he shouldnt have done when we werent watching
    this thread will bring out some memories in every one who reads it
  10. Stretch

    Stretch AH Fanatic

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2012
    Messages:
    604
    Likes Received:
    0
    My Photos:
    15
    Hunted:
    USA , Canada, Botswana
    Fun story DOCMAN. Interesting how much fun archery brought to us boys.
    My story??? My parents thought it was a bad thing that I was launching arrows at the side of the neighbors above ground pool. Go figure.
    Then there was the time I attempted to string my Dad's longbow. Too much for this young lad. When the failed attempt sprung back the upper limb went inside my mouth, then promptly made a real neat hole out my cheek. There I stood with 10" of bow limb sticking out my cheek. Hard to hide that one from Mom.
  11. enysse

    enysse AH Ambassador

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2009
    Messages:
    5,826
    Likes Received:
    84
    My Photos:
    32
    Member of:
    Northeast Wisconsin SCI chapter, Lifetime member of NRA,RMEF
    Hunted:
    Namibia, South Africa (East Cape, Guateng and Limpopo)
    The Dukes of Hazzard reference had me laughing. I loved that show when I was a kid.

    Shooting arrows up in the air, I remember experimenting with the angle and everything. I remember the time, I shot my first compound bow and I practiced too long and could hardly pull my bow back and then I hit the release on my face before I had the bow all the way back and the compound bow was canted at a angle. The arrow went flying and I saw it land half mile away by the road (back in the day when I could actually see something withour glasses).

    Safety as a child, not for me, life was a experiment, and I was the subject.
  12. Diamondhitch

    Diamondhitch AH Legend

    Joined:
    May 2, 2011
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    7
    My Photos:
    67
    Member of:
    SCI
    Hunted:
    Canada (AB, SK, NWT, BC) USA (NM, TX) South Africa (Limpopo, KZN, Free State, Eastern Cape, Northen Cape), Kyrgyzstan
    LOL the compound bows really launch them up there dont they! I remember when I was told that the Judo points were awesome for birds because they got caught up in the head and just spun the arrow around so you couldnt use them. my first one was launched at a grouse in a tree, it took the head clean off without slowing down a bit and is probably still gaining altitude! I guess 70lb was a bit much for that trick to work. Rubber blunts work much better.
  13. enysse

    enysse AH Ambassador

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2009
    Messages:
    5,826
    Likes Received:
    84
    My Photos:
    32
    Member of:
    Northeast Wisconsin SCI chapter, Lifetime member of NRA,RMEF
    Hunted:
    Namibia, South Africa (East Cape, Guateng and Limpopo)
    I will never forget the arrow skying upward from my compund bow, it honestly looked like a scene out of Braveheart! I was suprised I found the camo arrow a half mile away.
  14. Hagar

    Hagar AH Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2010
    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    1
    This thread starts you thinking of all the dumb shit you did. I got a new BB gun for my birthday. We had a ball with it. We shot everything. Then we decided we needed more power. We taped a 22 shell to the end of the barrel put an old metal vacuum cleaner tube over them and let her rip. Not bad but left a lot to be desired for accuracy. We could not hit a row of bottles filled with water at 20 feet. Then we got the GREAT idea to tape a 12 gage shotgun shell to the gun. The one and only time we fired it the bottles were still in-tacked but I still flinch a lot to this day.
  15. Diamondhitch

    Diamondhitch AH Legend

    Joined:
    May 2, 2011
    Messages:
    2,313
    Likes Received:
    7
    My Photos:
    67
    Member of:
    SCI
    Hunted:
    Canada (AB, SK, NWT, BC) USA (NM, TX) South Africa (Limpopo, KZN, Free State, Eastern Cape, Northen Cape), Kyrgyzstan
    Yup, kids have alot more ingenuity than brains. We gut our hands on some model rocket engines and decided to make our own rocket. Basically it was a toilet paper tube with a rock taped in on end (nose cone) and the engine taped in the other. We found a rod for a launch guide but could not find a straw so we used a nut instead (taped in place of course). Long story short when we "launched" it, instead of gracefully blasting off over the neiborhood as expected the nut turned out to be a far better pivit than guide! The rocket started spinning around the guide rod and we scattered. At some point, while we ran like frenchmen from a capgun, it broke the tape holding the nut and blasted straight into the side of the neibors trailer. It left a dent but since no one was home and the evidence was destroyed by the ensuing fire (toilet paper tube and tape) we were in the clear! Whew. Attempt #2 resulted in a buddy with 2 burnt fingers but that is another story all together.

Share This Page