doctors advice

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by observe, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. observe

    observe CONTRIBUTOR AH Fanatic

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    [far eastern?] doctors advice
    it keeps on being a 'classic' in my book! lol
    enjoy......

    Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
    A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

    Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
    A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product.

    Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
    A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

    Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
    A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

    Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
    A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

    Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
    A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

    Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
    A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

    Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
    A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

    Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
    A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..
     
  2. timbear

    timbear AH Enthusiast

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    :doh2:LOL! Observe, would you mind if I copied that for my GP practice?
     
  3. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    :cool2: Good one..!
     
  4. Odinsraven

    Odinsraven AH Member

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    Excellent - Anyone got his number I need to change doctor
     
  5. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    Good advice to follow :clapping:
     

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