Christmas GROANERS

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by AkMike, Dec 26, 2013.

  1. AkMike

    AkMike AH Fanatic

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    Santa Baby - does this bring a twinkle?



    IS IT RAIN OR SNOW?.....
    A Russian couple was walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose. "I think it's raining," he said to his wife.

    "No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.

    "No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said. Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing. Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking towards them.

    "Let's not fight about it," the husband said, "let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing." As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it official raining or snowing?"

    "It's raining, of course," he replied, and walked on.

    But the woman insisted, "I know that felt like snow!"

    To which the man quietly replied: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."


    Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
    A. A cookie sheet!


    Q. What is green, covered with tinsel and says, "Ribbit, ribbit?"

    A. A mistle-toad.


    Q. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an Macintosh?

    A. A pineapple.


    Q. What do elves have to learn before they can read?

    A. The elfabet.


    Q. If a reindeer lost its tail, where could he get a new one?

    A. At a retail store


    Q. What does a reindeer do when he has an upset stomach?

    A. He takes an elk-a-seltzer.

    Q. How did Scrooge win the football game?

    A. The ghost of Christmas passed.

    Q. What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

    A. It's Christmas, Eve!



    If you deep-fry Santa Claus...

    ...do you end up with a Crisp Cringle?
  2. bluey

    bluey GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    ha ha ha ha
    :laughing::beer:
    it must be lonely up your way ,mate
  3. AkMike

    AkMike AH Fanatic

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    Nah! Just late at night.

    And -20c
  4. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    :clap::clap::clap:

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