CHINESE HOTEL BROCHURE...

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by DOC-404, Sep 28, 2013.

  1. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. Clearly it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English, and some of the original meaning has taken a major detour along the way!

    The hotel:

    This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery.
    Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children.
    Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar.
    We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with themself.

    Getting there:

    Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water.
    You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend.
    The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

    The restaurant:

    Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

    Your room:

    Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts.
    In winter, every room is on heat.
    Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity!

    The bed:

    Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her.
    She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

    Above all:

    When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.

    :wacky:
  2. observe

    observe CONTRIBUTOR AH Fanatic

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    ;)--:first:
  3. Stan-Elephant Trail

    Stan-Elephant Trail AH Veteran

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    Hahaha.

    And I though my English was bad.

    Thanks for a great laugh.
  4. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    :rofl: sounds like my kind of place. :wacky::laughing::first:
  5. enysse

    enysse AH Ambassador

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    OMG! Somebody needs a English marketing director!
  6. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    Some of it sounds interesting, where did you say that hotel is ? :wink:

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