BEST DIVORCE LETTERS EVER..?

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by DOC-404, Dec 14, 2012.

  1. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    Subject: BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER


    Dear Wife,

    I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

    Your EX-Husband.

    P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!



    Dear Ex-Husband,

    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was that you look just like a girl! Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

    Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

    P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.
  2. Stan-Elephant Trail

    Stan-Elephant Trail AH Veteran

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    Hahaha. I live it. Too bad I can't use it with my wife.

    Thanks for sharing
  3. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    :clap::clap::clap:
  4. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    + 1 my good friend.hehe
  5. GSTONE

    GSTONE AH Veteran

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    VERY funny! :clapping::clapping::clapping:

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