AT THE DRIVE-THRU ATM...

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by DOC-404, Jun 21, 2013.

  1. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    MALE VS FEMALE AT THE CASH MACHINE

    A new sign in the Bank reads:

    'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through cash machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

    Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

    After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

    *******************************
    MALE PROCEDURE:


    1... Drive up to the cash machine.

    2. Lower your car window.

    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    6. Raise window.

    7. Drive off.

    *******************************

    FEMALE PROCEDURE:


    1. Drive up to cash machine.

    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

    3. Put hand brake on, lower the DRIVER'S window.

    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

    5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

    8. Insert card.

    9. Re-insert card the right way.

    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

    11. Enter PIN .

    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

    13. Enter amount of cash required.

    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

    16. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.

    17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

    18. Re-check makeup.

    19. Drive forward 2 feet.

    20. Reverse back to cash machine.

    21. Retrieve card.

    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
    holder, and place card into the slot provided!

    23. Give dirty look at irate male driver waiting behind you.

    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

    25. Redial person on mobile phone.

    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

    27. Release Hand Brake.

    :biggrin2:
  2. BnC 04

    BnC 04 TITANIUM SUPPORTER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Enthusiast

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    Hey Doc, 26 & 27 are the best. Have actually seen that one happen before. Now that's funny
  3. BWH

    BWH GOLD SUPPORTER AH Veteran

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    You're forgetting curb the $hit out of the tire & snap off side mirror in the process......:)
  4. Wheels

    Wheels GOLD SUPPORTER AH Elite

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    Funny stuff.

    The drive through at our bank had braille on the keypad?????
  5. Diamondhitch

    Diamondhitch AH Legend

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    LOL god help us!
  6. Diamondhitch

    Diamondhitch AH Legend

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    Shouldn't there be something in there about ignoring check engine light for 2 months then acting surprised when her car broke down one day?
  7. Biddleman

    Biddleman AH Senior Member

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    Next time your at a McDonalds Drive thru, check the window that says menus are available in Braille. :huh:
  8. BnC 04

    BnC 04 TITANIUM SUPPORTER SILVER SUPPORTER AH Enthusiast

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    I think rolling up with 1 flat tire, wondering why the car is pulling to the left should be on the list as well...;)
  9. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    :clap::clap::clap:

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