Are You a Southerner?

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by Bobpuckett, Feb 28, 2012.

  1. Bobpuckett

    Bobpuckett GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    Are You a Southerner?













    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?



    Here is a little test that will help you decide.





    The answer can be found by posing the following question:



    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
    and two small children.



    Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you...



    You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.



    What do you do?





    THINK CAREFULLY AND

    THEN SCROLL DOWN:





    Democrat's Answer:



    * Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    * What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?
    * Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    * Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
    * Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    * Could we run away?
    * What does my wife think?
    * What about the kids?
    * Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    * What does the law say about this situation?
    * Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
    * Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    * Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    * Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    * If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    * Should I call 9-1-1?
    * Why is this street so deserted?
    * We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
    * Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior?
    * I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
    * This is all so confusing!



    Republican's Answer:



    BANG!





    Southerner's Answer:



    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!

    Click..... (Sounds of reloading)

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

    Click



    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!'



    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'



    Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
  2. Jaco Strauss

    Jaco Strauss SPONSOR AH Elite

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    I am a Southerner I might be from the southerner part of Africa... But by gollie I qualify!!!!

    My best always!
  3. duckman90

    duckman90 AH Senior Member

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    my 1911 only hold 9 rounds :(
  4. Nyati

    Nyati AH Legend

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    In such cases it is better not to think, just act.

    What does that make me ?
  5. 35bore

    35bore AH Legend

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    Well sounds like you are not a sheep, guess we fall into the same catagory.
  6. observe

    observe CONTRIBUTOR AH Fanatic

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    southerner?

    in that case.....


    [​IMG]

    i'm definitly a southerner!

    [​IMG]

    Attached Files:

  7. Biddleman

    Biddleman AH Senior Member

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    I don't know if I would qualify because I carry a Glock 9mm.
    But I do have 15 rounders so the results would be the same. Because afterall, dead is dead:D
  8. Thunder head

    Thunder head AH Enthusiast

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    The only problem i would have is shooting him before my wife does!!!

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