ARE YOU A DEMOCRAT, A REPUBLICAN OR A SOUTHERNER...?

Discussion in 'Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures' started by DOC-404, May 2, 2012.

  1. DOC-404

    DOC-404 AH Elite

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    ARE you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.



    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
    and two small children.

    Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife
    comes around the corner,
    locks eyes with you,
    screams obscenities,
    raises the knife, and charges at you...

    You are carrying a
    Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.
    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
    What do you do?

    THINK CAREFULLY AND
    THEN SCROLL DOWN:





    Democrat's Answer:
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the pistol have an appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
    Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
    This is all so confusing!

    ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......... ......... ...
    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!


    ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .......... ......

    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    Click.... (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG!
    Click

    Daughter: 'Nice group, Daddy!'
    'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hard Ball?!

    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

    Wife: 'You are NOT taking that to a Taxidermist!
     
  2. Wolverine67

    Wolverine67 AH Fanatic

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    :laughing::beatingdeadhorse::biggrin2:
     
  3. timbear

    timbear AH Enthusiast

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    Australian's answer:

    "S..t! I wish I was allowed to carry a gun. Or a tazer. Or pepper spray. Or even a big stick, without winding up in court!"
     
  4. wombat57

    wombat57 New Member

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    It made me chuckle but sadly this is the reality of it.
     
  5. spike.t

    spike.t GOLD SUPPORTER AH Legend

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    when i first glanced at the title i thought it said "are you a doormat, a republican" etc! but even though i am not from the usa i understand they mean the same thing no? :laughing:
     
  6. firehuntfish

    firehuntfish AH Veteran

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    GOOD ONE...!:gangsterguns:
     
  7. 35bore

    35bore AH Elite

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    Republican, because if I am an expert shot "as implied" and carrying a 45ACP, the one BANG is all that would be heard.:guns:
     
  8. 35bore

    35bore AH Elite

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    :heh: BANG
     

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