My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.
I eat mop
I eat mop who?
A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother...
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
how do snails fight?
they slug it out.
what do you call a bear without teeth
a gummy bear
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an...
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is this some kind of joke?''
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?”
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child:...
Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up
Teacher: "I'm sure there are some stupid students over here!!"...
An old man was LYING IN HIS DEATH bed upstairs. His favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each...
Son: Daddy, I got punished in school today.
Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying, "At the end of this scale there is...
If someday we all go to prison for downloading music illegally, I hope they split us up by music genres.
Life is like Toilet paper... you're either on a roll or taking crap from some butthole.
I'm naming my TV remote Waldo for obvious reasons.
I named my dog "5 miles", so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.
If I die in my sleep, at least I can actually say that I died doing what I loved.
My room isn't dirty, I just have everything on display.
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?
Separate names with a comma.