Free Hunt for One Hunter & One Observer from Lianga Safaris for 2016

At least we avoid horseriding when hunting in Africa. This is my leg from a horse hunt in Yukon after first hours thrown off and kicked by the beast ... :-(

A better camp would be great too

Hunting isn't catch & release.... can't toss the little ones back!

Maybe we avoid Down jackets too ????

lbgsafaris said:

Morten you will both be in for an excellent time at Lianga. 110% Guarantee

Click to expand...

That would be great adventure yes ... Hope to win

Attached file is why I'm adding a 458 socom to the stable.



Larger Mushroom, Deeper Penetration!

On a pronghorn hunt last month, my nephews first big game hunt, he was convinced that the ranchers horses were wild mustangs. These horses are babies you can just walk up and pet them but he called them wild mustangs. When approaching one I see this, I ask him what he was doing and he says, "when approaching wild mustangs you have to show them you don't have a weapon"

I´ll try, too.
My dachshund as puppy on his first springbuck hunt:

The Deep Hole

These two Hunters were hunting a Farmers land one day and they came across a huge hole in the ground. They eased up to the edge of the hole and couldnt see the bottom.

Curiosity got the best of them so they picked up a small rock and threw it in the huge hole but they didn't hear it hit the bottom. They got a big rock this time and threw it in the hole. Once again, they didnt hear it hit the bottom.

They had the "we just gotta know attitude" so they scrounged around in the bushes and found an old piece of railroad iron. The two hunters drug it over to the hole and chunked this hunk of steel in the hole. They were standing by the hole with hands cupped around there ears. They really wanted to know how long it took to hit the bottom.

All at once a goat came running out of the bushes about Mach II and jumped head first in the hole. The hunters couldnt believe what just happened and they both had to go clean out their drawers.

A couple minutes later the Farmer walks up and says "hey, have you two seen my daughters prize goat around here?" The puzzled hunters look at each other and said "we aint seen your prize goat but there was a goat that ran by us a second ago doing about 60mph! danged if it didn't jump head first into that there hole".

Farmers looks at both guys and says "nah, - that couldnt have been my daughters goat,
- I had it tied up to a piece of railroad iron"

So, after a reasonably long dry spell of no hunting, my brother - in - law and I decided to get out and get some "biltong"meat.
Once all the usual preparations were done , we loaded up the truck and set off for the bushveld, with of course our trusted and life long hunting partner, FOXY , the Fox terrier!
To cut a long story short, we were stalking some impala and Foxy's back was bristling, hairs all up right and stepping very lightly. Strange behaviour to us, as foxy was well accustomed to this type of hunting... but we put it down to the long absence of bush life and the smell of the game.
All of a sudden a HUGE roar burst our ears and we were confronted by a very distressed male lion, a mere 30m away!!! This explained Foxy's rare actions!!
Well, brother - in - law had the one and only rifle and in shock, he let fly at the lion, missed by a few miles and then proceeded to jam the bolt in his haste to get off a second, and hopefully more accurate, shot.
Well, that was not to be... the lion took one long look at this trio of clowns and came bounding towards us.. with soiled underpants we turned as one and RAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then I was in front... then brother - in - law was in front... then I was in front.... then Foxy was in front...
As the lion got very close, brother - in - law tripped over Foxy and fell in a pile of dust. Undaunted and in desperation to preserve his mediocre life, he grabbed a handful of sand and threw it at the lion's face. Instantly the lion screeched to halt, typical of the Walt Disney cartoon style action and sat on his haunches desperately wiping at his eyes with his front paws to clear them of the gritty sand.
Spotting our chance, we upped and ran. Being of a rather portly physique I was out of breath about 10 minutes ago. Brother -in - law found a sturdy tree and shimmied up it to the safety of a stout branch... shouting for me to get up and join him before the lion recovered and got back to us.
Tired, weak and in no mood for tree climbing, I desisted...

NO WAY, I SAID...I'M SAFE.... IT WASN'T ME THAT THREW SAND IN HIS EYES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O.K. here goes................
The Teacher says to the class: Who ever stands up is stupid
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: I said who ever stands up is STUPID!
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: Johnny, do you really think that you are stupid?
Little Johnny: No Mrs Jones, I just thought that maybe you are lonely being the only one standing.

Malapati cell tower

First post! Long time lurker! I will do an introduction tonight, just want to get my joke in. My kid made this up.

What type of vegetables do dogs eat?












FETCHTABLES!

It was very difficult and can only be accomplished by Sportsmen who are great trackers, "herdsmen", hunters and marksmen. These Bison were all called in close together by using a custom "female in heat" American Bison call. The hunters were lucky enough to have them fall so close together to make dressing and skinning a relatively easy chore.

Sunday hunter

One Sunday a Minister feigned illness so he could go deer hunting. That morning he shot a fantastic 14-point buck! Saint Peter looked down from Heaven and said to God, “You aren’t going to let him bag a prize like that are you?” “Why not?” God replied. “Who’s he going to tell?”

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he ends up urinating all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!"

took a great black bear last week with the 44 mag. its my first bear with a pistol

Oh-Yah Winnning a hunt