bluey
AH legend
- Joined
- May 21, 2012
- Messages
- 4,742
- Reaction score
- 2,095
- Location
- australia/zambia
- Media
- 52
- Member of
- ssaa, aba ,bairnsdale field archers SFP
- Hunted
- australia south africa (limpopo, north west,eastcape) canada (b.c)zambia
OLD FARTS RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!
------------------------------------------
From: Subject: FW: Grandpa and the Australian Taxation Office
Subject: Grandpa and the Australian Taxation Office
Grandpa and the Australian Taxation Office
The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to their office.
The ATO auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his lawyer.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not sure the ATO finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a
demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops..
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with
Grandpa's lawyer as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he
agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains
mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,
so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss
into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own lawyer moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the lawyer. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been
summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could
come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
------------------------------------------
From: Subject: FW: Grandpa and the Australian Taxation Office
Subject: Grandpa and the Australian Taxation Office
Grandpa and the Australian Taxation Office
The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to their office.
The ATO auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his lawyer.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not sure the ATO finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a
demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops..
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with
Grandpa's lawyer as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand
dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he
agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains
mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,
so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss
into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own lawyer moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the lawyer. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been
summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could
come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
