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WOMEN'S ENGLISH

This is a discussion on WOMEN'S ENGLISH within the Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures forums, part of the GENERAL category; WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want.. ...

  1. #1
    Bobpuckett's Avatar
    Bobpuckett is online now GOLD SUPPORTER
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    Default WOMEN'S ENGLISH

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want..
    5. I am sorry = you will be sorry
    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
    10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

    MEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit =I'm gay

    How to impress a woman:

    Wine her,
    Dine her;
    Call her,
    Hug her,
    Support her,
    Hold her,
    Surprise her,
    Compliment her,
    Smile at her,
    Listen to her,
    Laugh with her,
    Cry with her,
    Romance her,
    Encourage her,
    Believe in her,
    Pray with her,
    Pray for her,
    Cuddle with her,
    Shop with her,
    Give her jewelry,
    Buy her flowers,
    Hold her hand,
    Write love letters to her,
    Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.

    How to impress a man:

    Show up naked, bring popcorn and beer...
    don't block the TV!

  2. #2
    timbear is offline AH Enthusiast
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    Just goes to show: women like the simple things in life - men!
    Overkill is underestimated!

  3. #3
    Nyati's Avatar
    Nyati is online now AH Legend
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