Retired man buys a new sports car.
A man who had recently retired bought a new Sprts car with the some of his savings. On the way home from the lot he decided to try it out and see what it would do. What it did was go past a speed trap at 95 Miles per hour in a 70 MPH zone. WHen he saw the flashing lights he made a quick mental calculation and decided to try and outrun the policeman.
A little further down the road he thought better of the situation and decided to pull over and take the ticket. When the officer approached his car they did the usual small talk about speeding, safety and such. THen the officer told the man "I'm glad you decided not to try and outrun me. In fact we have a car waiting not far down the highway because some idiot always tries to do just that. You know It's about 15 minuted till time for me to go home. I really don't want to ave to write all this up. If you have a good excuse I've never heard before I might just let you go."
THe man said "Honestly officer, a few months ago my wife run away with a police officer and I was afraid you might be bringing her back."
"Have a good day" the officer said.