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se_ual assault

This is a discussion on se_ual assault within the Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures forums, part of the GENERAL category; A lady walked into a Police Station and the desk Sergeant said "Can I help you?" "Yes" she said, "I'd ...

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    Default se_ual assault

    A lady walked into a Police Station and the desk Sergeant
    said "Can I help you?"

    "Yes" she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault".

    "Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked.

    "In the park just down the road" she replied.

    "Can you describe what happened?"

    "Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park near the trees when a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear then he dropped his pants to his knees and had his way with me".

    "Could you give me a description of him?"

    "Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees, one on each leg".

    "Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman", said the Sergeant.

    "Yes", said the lady, "He was an Aussie Cricketer".

    "That's very observant", said the Sergeant, "You worked that out from his accent?"

    "No", she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in for very long".
    Last edited by BRICKBURN; 08-09-2013 at 09:14 AM.

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    ..what the hell is a seual asault..? Someone rocking your boat again Bluey..?

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    Quote Originally Posted by DOCMAN View Post
    ..what the hell is a seual asault..? Someone rocking your boat again Bluey..?
    what are you a gramma expert bud

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    no the boat isn't rocking tonight l just stuffed up
    and when l worked it out, l said to myself, self doc will notice that
    how was that for a lucky guess mate

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    Quote Originally Posted by bluey View Post
    no the boat isn't rocking tonight l just stuffed up
    ..you still my favorite upsidedowner, Bud..

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    ha ha ha good on ya
    you crack me up bloke

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    After watching a few clips on TV it sounds like the RSA team has the same problem.
    Practice whispering before you leave for Africa!
    A Legend in my own mind!

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    Must be an inside joke. We statesiders dont have much cricket here. Guessing they pull players out often, is that it?

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    Quote Originally Posted by sestoppelman View Post
    Must be an inside joke. We statesiders dont have much cricket here. Guessing they pull players out often, is that it?
    Batters get bowled out. The longer they stay in the game the more points (overs) they get.
    If you are a poor batter you get "out" quickly. (My limited interpretation of the Cricket rules)
    This is an insane game that can go over DAYS!
    Practice whispering before you leave for Africa!
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