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murder at woolworths

This is a discussion on murder at woolworths within the Humorous Jokes, Stories or Pictures forums, part of the GENERAL category; MURDER AT WOOLWORTHS Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve ...

  1. #1
    bluey's Avatar
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    MURDER AT WOOLWORTHS
    Tired of constantly
    being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

    A 'friend of a friend'
    put him in touch with a nefarious, dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out of a spouse was $10,000.



    The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar coin that rested inside.
    Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

    A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Woolworths store. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

    However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.

    Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.
    The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared......

    'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Woolworths'

  2. #2
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    Bluey..... of you go and have a and try again.....

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    Aaargh...I will never be able to eat artichokes again!!!
    Overkill is underestimated!

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    Typical for newspaper reporters

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    yeah i know ots pretty ordinary but it was the only joke i got sent to me yesterday

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    Quote Originally Posted by bluey View Post
    yeah i know ots pretty ordinary but it was the only joke i got sent to me yesterday
    no passing the buck now better luck with the next one

  7. #7
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    Never eat artichokes again? Who would ever eat then in the first place? :-) :-) :-)
    IF YOU GO ONCE-YOU WILL GO AGAIN-DEAL WITH IT

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    stealing this one bluey!
    Enjoy life now -- it has an expiration date.

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