How to Start a Fight
This is a discussion on How to Start a Fight within the Humor, Ridiculous, Shocking Jokes, Stories or Pictures forums, part of the Hunting Forums - General category; ------------------------------------------------- One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I ...
01-22-2013, 02:30 PM #1
- Member of SCI, NRA, IHEA
- Hunted US, Germany
- Grady has no Articles
- Grady has no Photos
How to Start a Fight
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started....
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, She kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"WOW" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer...
Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And then the fight started..
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 15 years replied, "And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started......
01-22-2013, 03:59 PM #2
I laughed at every one. Thanks!!!!!
01-22-2013, 04:54 PM #3
- Member of NAHC Life Member, NRA Life Member,SCI, Buckmasters
- Hunted USA(from Coast to Coast and Alaska), Germany, South Africa, Canada
- Bobpuckett has no Articles
- View Bobpuckett's Photos
I'll probably steal a few of these for FB.Enjoy life now -- it has an expiration date.
01-22-2013, 05:20 PM #4
- Member of KZN Hunters Assoc
- Hunted Namibia (Otavi) South Africa ( Limpopo, Kwazulu Natal, Northern Cape) Canada (BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec, Nova Scotia) USA (Montana, Washington, South Dakota, California, Colorado, Wyoming, Kansas, Minnesota, North Carolina, Virginia, Utah, Hawaii)
- BRICKBURN has no Articles
- View BRICKBURN's Photos
If I ever need to start a fight ...
ThxPractice whispering before you leave for Africa!
A Legend in my own mind!
01-23-2013, 02:48 AM #5
- Member of SCI
- Hunted Canada (AB, SK, NWT, BC) USA (NM) South Africa (Limpopo, KZN, Free State, Eastern Cape, Northen Cape)
- Diamondhitch has no Articles
- View Diamondhitch's Photos
LOL, first ting I did was forward this to my mother in law!
That's how you start a fight!The journey is the reward.
01-23-2013, 03:14 AM #6
- Member of ssaa, aba ,
- Hunted australia south africa (limpopo) canada (b.c)
- bluey has no Articles
- View bluey's Photos
love that first one grady
but im sure every one of them would work
01-23-2013, 10:16 AM #7
- Member of RFEC, RFETO
- Hunted Finland, RSA ( KwaZulu Natal, Limpopo, North West ), Spain
- Nyati has no Articles
- View Nyati's Photos
By Buff-Buster in forum Humor, Ridiculous, Shocking Jokes, Stories or PicturesReplies: 3Last Post: 02-07-2013, 02:41 PM
By Nyati in forum Hunting AfricaReplies: 8Last Post: 06-27-2012, 11:18 AM
By Spudmonkey in forum Firearms & Ammunition GeneralReplies: 13Last Post: 12-21-2011, 04:16 PM
By AfricaHunting.com in forum Hunting Video Clips Watch InstantlyReplies: 8Last Post: 05-10-2011, 01:31 AM
By Kiwi505 in forum Humor, Ridiculous, Shocking Jokes, Stories or PicturesReplies: 1Last Post: 08-29-2010, 06:25 AM