This is a discussion on "Rectum Stretcher" within the Humor, Ridiculous, Shocking Jokes, Stories or Pictures forums, part of the Hunting Forums - General category; While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a > > > woman passed over ...
01-22-2013, 11:54 AM #1
- Member of Houston Safari Club, Gulf Coast SCI, SCI International. Rowland Ward, NRA
- Hunted Mozambique, South Africa, (Kwa-Zulu Natal & East Cape), Zimbabwe (Charisa & West Nicholson), U.S.(Texas, New Mexico, LA, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Wyoming & Montana), Canada (Alberta) & Argentina (Cordoba)
While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a
> > > woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
> > > The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
> > patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked,
> 'What's your hurry?'
> > > To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'
> > > 'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
> > 'I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.
> > The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum
> > > stretcher do?'
> > 'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to
> > > two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I
>>>>can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch,
> > until it's about 6 feet wide.'
> > > 'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?' he asked.
> > > 'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'
> > > Traffic Ticket $95.00
> > > Court Costs. $45.00
01-22-2013, 05:27 PM #2
- Member of KZN Hunters Assoc
- Hunted Namibia (Otavi) South Africa ( Limpopo, Kwazulu Natal, Northern Cape) Canada (BC, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Quebec, Nova Scotia) USA (Montana, Washington, South Dakota, California, Colorado, Wyoming, Kansas, Minnesota, North Carolina, Virginia, Utah, Hawaii)
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Ouch!Practice whispering before you leave for Africa!
A Legend in my own mind!
01-22-2013, 11:47 PM #3
- Member of SSAA, NZDA
- Hunted Germany, NZ, Australia
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Very ouch!!Overkill is underestimated!
01-23-2013, 10:23 AM #4
- Member of RFEC, RFETO
- Hunted Finland, RSA ( KwaZulu Natal, Limpopo, North West ), Spain
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01-27-2013, 05:52 PM #5
- Member of NAHC Life Member, NRA Life Member,SCI, Buckmasters
- Hunted USA(from Coast to Coast and Alaska), Germany, South Africa, Canada
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I'm laughing so hard its hard to see the keyboard through the tears.Enjoy life now -- it has an expiration date.
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