And that's how the fight started....

***Some woman looked at my beer belly in the bar last night and sarcastically asked, "Is that Budweiser or Pabst Blue Ribbon?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath,? taste it and you make the call." ?? That's when the fight started

***I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.She said, "If you lost a few pounds, got a shave and a hair-cut, you'd look pretty good.
"I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your better looking friends over there." ?? That's when the fight started

***I went to the pub last night, had a shot of Jack Daniels and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I walked up and said to her, "Nice legs.
"The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now. ??"That's when the fight started

***I was telling a gorgeous blonde in the pub about my ability to guess what day a Woman was born just by feeling their breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... Try."
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience. "Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, 添esterday??? "That's when the fight started

*** As I walked up to the bar, I slid between two girls to order a drink. After I ordered one of the girls said 添ou smell really nice. What do you have on? I looked at her and said 的 have a hard on, didn稚 know you could smell it ?That痴 when the fight started

Those would get you shot.

now those were good jokes....